Robin's Roundup

Separation

2012-02-23T08:35:00.000-08:00

Whether you're a stay-at-home parent or a parent who works outside of the home or somewhere in between, the time comes when you must separate from your child and he or she or they from you. Each child and each parent handles separation in their own way. My parental troubleshooting methods often have me turning to two sources for assistance - books and Tylenol - and when it came to separation, I needed both! Our kids handled separation differently from one another but, in their earliest years, none of them found it particularly easy. Nor did I! A tried and true favorite tool in our household when the girls were younger was Audrey Penn's The Kissing Hand. This is a precious story about a mother raccoon seeing her son off to Kindergarten and giving him a way to feel close to her when they're apart. Inspired by the tale, when one of our daughter's was having a particularly difficult time separating to start Kindergarten, I kissed her hands in the morning so she could place my kisses on her cheeks throughout the day when she needed them most. We probably should have let the teacher in on the plan because I received a somewhat alarmed call from her informing me that our daughter had been rubbing her hands all over her face all morning and they were concerned she might have a contagious rash or an allergic reaction. Our daughters have all let me know this book was one of their favorites and someone gets weepy every time it's mentioned.

I recently came upon a new picture book that evoked The Kissing Hand and all that it has meant to my family. Bonnie Verburg's The Kiss Box, illustrated by Henry Cole, is another story about separation and the love and compassion shared by parent and child. It is the resourceful child, in this case, who comes up with a way the mother and child can hold onto one another's love even when they are apart. Little Bear creates a "Kiss Box" in which he places a hundred kisses for his mother. At his request, she makes one for him too. My kids saw this book on the coffee table recently, read through it and started crying. The tears were brought on by the emotion and the memories - not because the story is sad! On a personal note, I fell in love with this particular book both for the reasons I've already mentioned and because one of our daughters actually did this on her own just a few years ago. My husband Jeff, an attorney, had a big case out of town and had to relocate for a few months. It was an emotional time for all of us and one of our daughters realized that, because the rest of us would be together, the separation was going to be hardest of all on Jeff. She found a small box in which she placed a few private thoughts, sayings and things and gave it to him as a gift, instructing him to look inside whenever he was feeling particularly lonely - to remind him that his family back home loved him and was counting down the days until his return. There's no way around it - kids are special and have enough love to get you through the toughest times. For our part, when we were missing Jeff most, we would cuddle up with out precious dog Lev who we adopted the day he left, who made sure we had many funny stories to share with Jeff every time we spoke and who continues to lick our faces and fill our lives with unconditional love.

Facebook Fury

2012-01-20T11:44:00.000-08:00

Friends who have heard my rant about kids on Facebook will be surprised to hear that my position has changed somewhat. My own kids will be especially surprised! I still consider Facebook to be a wicked time suck and I remain convinced that it is a portal to evil and dangers of monstrous proportions but... I'm impressed by the way kids use Facebook to make connections; connections, I'll admit, I used to think lacked substance. Please don't misunderstand me, I don't think having hundreds or thousands of Facebook "friends" has anything to do with making connections. Rather, I'm talking about the fact that our kids check their Facebook pages, become aware of the birthdays of friends and relatives who live far away, and connect with good wishes, happy thoughts and interest. I actually love the fact that our daughters are aware of the things going on in the lives of our extended families and that those connections have become very important to them. Facebook has helped them cultivate relationships and strengthen bonds in spite of itself. Who knew?

I wish, of course, that this was the end of it but it really is a time suck and it really does open to the door to more harm than was imaginable when I was a kid. Should our daughters read this blog post, it will, of course, be met by the most extreme eye-roll of all time. I am not one to shy away in the face of an eye-roll. Parents have a responsibility to learn as much as they can about Facebook and impart that wisdom to their kids, regardless of whether or not kids' accept the parents' perspective as "wisdom". Here are some of the nuggets my poor, unfortunate offspring have the pleasure of hearing regularly:

1. If you have a party and then post pics on Facebook for all your "friends" to see, then do so knowing that you are letting certain "friends" know they were not included. While I firmly believe that kids need to learn that not everyone is invited to everything and they need to learn how to cope with not being included, I also believe that you need to own your decisions, including whom you've decided to invite to what and the fact that rubbing someone else's face in it on Facebook is hurtful and very uncool. Many of us try to teach our kids to think before acting and speaking and Facebook is no exception - before posting a pic, consider what message you are sending and what the implications may be. It's no excuse to say "I didn't mean to..." Forewarned, forearmed.
2. What goes on the internet stays on the internet. It can never be erased. And much of what people think is hidden but remains online is ultimately embarrassing, humiliating or devastating to someone or will be at some point.This reality transcends embarrassment today and puts many Facebook users at the mercy of college admission offices and potential future employers because you never know how much they'll vet (note that this employer warning is no exaggeration; when we hire at my office, we immediately look at the Facebook page of every applicant who passes the resume test; many go no further). Word to the wise: at the very least, consider your privacy settings and immediately delete anything questionable or inappropriate posted on your wall.
3. If you are determined to "friend" everyone on earth, then remember who those friends are and keep in mind that they can follow threads of conversations you have with others. Many kids "friend" teachers and friends of their parents and then post with abandon. Eeeeewwwww.
4. Don't hack someone else's Facebook page and post a hacked status message and don't laugh or otherwise encourage others to do this to you. Think about it.

I think that's enough for now. Needless to say, there's more to come. So much more. But while I work all that out, here's a fantastic book selection for you and your kids. The Future of Us by Carolyn Mackler and Jay Asher is one of the best YA (young adult) books I've read in the last 6 months. Depending on reading level and sophistication, kids as young as 11-ish will love it, all ages of teens will love it and parents of teens will love it too. The book is set in the mid-90s when the internet was just starting to pick up speed and Facebook hadn't been invented yet. Two teens insert an America Online CD-ROM (remember those?!) and end up viewing their Facebook pages 15 years in the future. Once the initial confusion subsides and they come to terms with the fact that they are glimpsing their futures, they also begin to realize that the future changes with every action and reaction in the present. It's a clever and witty and moving tribute to teens, friendship, our grasp of the future and our limited understanding of the technologies available. It's a completely satisfying read!

All hail the new National Ambassador for Young People's Literature

2012-01-03T12:36:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! It has been a while since my last post and, in addition to eating well, exercising regularly, losing weight, and yelling less, blogging more frequently is one of my key New Year's resolutions. More important to me than these aforementioned resolutions, though, is to resolve to do my part to make the world a better place. I'm not joking about that. I believe we each have a responsibility to think and act beyond ourselves and our immediate environment and be proactive participants in our communities. I feel like 2012 has gotten off to a good start and I'm very excited to tell you why. If you take a look at the first page of this morning's Arts section in the New York Times, you'll see an article entitled Children's Book Envoy Defines His Mission written by Julie Bosman. As Julie reports, a new National Ambassador for Young People's Literature has been appointed in this country and it's humbling to be part of the team that created this post and makes it all happen. The real work, of course, falls to each Ambassador and Walter Dean Myers is a force to be reckoned with. Walter is among the most prolific and most honored writers of books for young people. Like his Ambassadorial predecessors, Katherine Paterson and Jon Scieszka, Walter brings his unique perspective and charisma to his writing along with a genuine and palpable respect for his young readers. Walter's platform during his two-year term is "Reading is Not Optional". Walter wants people of all ages to recognize that reading is more than a school activity or a leisure activity - rather, reading is as essential to a person's success as eating, breathing and sleeping. Reading is not optional. The personal history and experience with which Walter backs his claims are compelling. His is a voice that generations need to hear and stories that generations need to read. Congratulations Walter Dean Myers and heartfelt congratulations to the young readers who have a new superhero to call their own. Happy New Year to all!

The Superparent Complex

2011-12-12T14:25:00.000-08:00

I readily confess that I frequently try to do too much, particularly where my kids are concerned. I can give you all the rationalizations in the world for this but the bottom line is that I'm on a ridiculously competitive quest against myself to prove that kids miss out on nothing when their moms work outside of the home. I firmly believe that proposition to be true and yet I admit that I try to stay a few steps ahead of the inevitable guilt by overcompensating. Just last week, one child let me know she needed 17 red velvet cupcakes for a book talk scheduled to take place at school the next day and one of her sisters called me just before 4:30 pm to let me know that she desperately needed me to pick up a husky hat (a silly hat with a husky/dog head) because she desperately needed it for the very next day. I had already committed to attending a meeting for 10th grade parents at our older daughter's high school that night and knew I wouldn't have time to bake cupcakes so I agreed to buy them on the way home. I laughed at the husky hat request and reminded my darling that I was picking up cupcakes and then going to a meeting and would be happy to deal with the hat request another day. "But I need it for tomorrow..." I could have and should have said "no", "you can't always get what you want when you want it", or "I need a little more notice". Instead I said "I'll do my best but you'll have to live with it if I can't find the hat". She agreed (totally disingenuously, as I later learned). Despite it being a miserable rainy night, I got the cupcakes and I attended the meeting. I visited 4 different stores and never did succeed in finding the hat though. There was a moment there that I felt horrible and unsuccessful because I hadn't accomplished all the tasks on my list. That feeling was quickly replaced by appropriate anger with myself for ever having gotten into this position in the first place and for feeling even the slightest bit as though I'd let anyone down. I was also more than a little peeved with the child who insisted she need that ridiculous hat and that the matter was time-sensitive. At the end of the day, the problem is mine and only mine. Kids need to hear "no" and parents need to be able to say it. My kids only think I can make things like husky hats miraculously appear because I've fostered ludicrous expectations. Silly me - it's so much more important to teach them to manage their own expectations than it is to feed my supermom ego!

As you probably know, kids' books and movies often depict families where there is no mom except the occasional evil stepmom. For this reason, today's book selection can be found in the adult fiction section of your library or local bookstore - it's Lisa Genova's Left Neglected. So many of us teeter on the brink of total collapse as we try to get through an insanely long daily to-do list This is the story of Sarah Nickerson who teeters on the brink and then falls off the proverbial cliff. One minute Sarah barely has time to breathe and, in the next split second, she sustains a serious brain injury and her life is changed forever. The scary part of the story is that it could happen to any of us. However, I prefer to take away the more reassuring message that change can be good and that challenge leads to opportunity.

Because I said so!

2011-12-07T07:05:00.000-08:00

Parents must sometimes make decisions in the best interests of their child or family that the child does not support. Most of us recognize that you can't always please your children (Ha! Remember, I have 3 teenager girls, making this the understatement of the century!) but many of us still try, on some level, to reason with our children and make them understand why we have made the decisions we have made. Speaking for myself, I think I do this primarily out of respect for my kids and belief in their ability to understand reason and secondarily because, on some probably unattainable level, I'm hoping for a break through and a child that embraces the decision they initially abhorred. Ridiculous, I know! If all else fails, I am a proponent of "because I said so". It is a gift to parents that should neither be undervalued nor avoided. Sometimes, it's all you've got.The bottom line is that, as parents, we sign on for a lot and wear many hats but none is a "cool" hat or a "best friend to our kids" hat or even a "popular with our kids" hat. While we may change hats regularly or wear many simultaneously, it seems to me that parents may never shed the "best interests of my child" hat or "strong advocate for my child" hat and with each of those hats comes the responsibility of paying close attention and sometimes making tough decisions.

A friend recently told me that she is thinking about moving. She is a single mom of two middle graders and has decided that at this time in her life, she and her children need to live closer to her aging mother. She knows her children will not greet news of their impending move gleefully but she also knows that she is the decision-maker for the family and that children are adaptable, even when they're certain they are not. She also knows that the benefits of the proposed move will far outweigh the costs. I admire this woman greatly. It's not as easy as it may sound to put your child's feelings (and even protests) aside to lay down the law and force everyone to step in line. Not too long ago, Jeff and I agreed that it was time for one of our children to change schools. The child in question has never been one to embrace change and she felt safe, secure and extremely comfortable where she was. She hated the idea of leaving her school and made her feelings abundantly clear but we knew that the change was necessary and that she would thrive in a different environment. When we took her around to see different schools, she did what she could to sabotage potential admission but was admitted to several schools in spite of herself. She made no secret of the fact that she was furious with us and it would take a long time for her to forgive us (if ever). Six weeks into her new school, she let us know how grateful and happy she was to be there. We agreed that as soon as she felt she loved her new school, then she could buy a school sweatshirt. By the end of her first year, she had a whole school wardrobe.

Making tough, frequently unpopular, decisions like moving homes or changing schools are possible when they're thoughtfully considered and necessary. Kids do adapt and when they do, no matter how fierce their initial resistance, they may even bask in the reassurance that someone really is looking out for them. And their resourcefulness to deal with change may surprise you. If you're contemplating a big change and want to help your youngster cope, consider picking up a copy of Neville by Norton Juster (author of The Phantom Tollbooth), illustrated by G. Brian Karas. The title character in this story moves to a new town and creatively gets his name known.

My mom went to _________ and all she got me was this lousy t-shirt.

2011-12-05T19:55:00.000-08:00

On my way home a couple of weeks ago, I slipped into Shakespeare & Co., a bookstore on Lexington Avenue between 68th and 69th Streets in Manhattan. I love this store. Sometimes I take a particular subway route home after work just so I can stop by this treasure trove and see what they've got. My visits are part field research so I know which children's and young adult titles bookstores are betting on and part me-time pleasure. On this particular visit, I was lured in by a series of t-shirts hanging in the window, each with a different title of a classic novel. One featured title was S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders. This particular book has special status in my home. I loved it when I was younger and appreciated it in a whole new way when one of our 13 year-olds read it for school last year and became obsessed. I would bet that when she's my age, if asked what book from her youth changed her life, her answer would unequivocally be The Outsiders. How exciting for both of us that we will meet author S.E. Hinton at the next Children's Choice Book Awards gala on May 7, 2012! But I digress. The t-shirt.... I walked in and walked straight up to the front counter to ask where I could find The Outsiders t-shirt. I proceeded to tell her how my daughter was going to flip when she saw this. The woman behind the counter and her friend who had been hovering nearby congratulated me on being such a good mom because only good parents could raise a child that would get excited about t-shirts based on books. I'll admit it. I was feeling pretty good. Just that day Thomas Friedman has a piece published in the New York Times asking, "How About Better Parents?". Friedman insisted that parents more focused on their children's education could make a huge difference in a student's achievement. He went on to discuss a study by which the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (O.E.C.D) conducted exams as part of the Program for International Student Assessment, or PISA, which tests 15-year-olds in the world’s leading industrialized nations on their reading comprehension and ability to use what they’ve learned in math and science to solve real problems. Among many interesting and thought-provoking findings was the clear conclusion that reading to your children on a regular base when they are young and parental involvement (like asking your child about his or her day) make a huge difference in terms of their abilities and accomplishments in later years. These propositions seem a little anti-climactic at first glance and then a little more shocking when you face the fact that many parents still don't get it. I'm not sure how you go about changing that since even a compelling article like Friedman's is likely only going to be read by those parents who are already reading to their children and connecting with them. Yet, how can we do anything other than keep trying to spread the word. Books and reading make a difference; engaged and involved parents change the game.

Back to that t-shirt. You know how sometimes you imagine the way something will go down and you're sure you've got it right only to find out you were completely wrong? Well, that's what happened with the t-shirt. I was beyond excited as I handed it to its intended recipient who took one look at the design and asked, "what does this have to do with The Outsiders?. I mean, I'd love it if it had anything to do with the book." I was ready to get all defensive when I took a look (probably for the first time) at the t-shirt I had purchased only hours before. She was right, of course. It had nothing to do with her beloved book. She was remarkably unimpressed by the t-shirt. What I really should have done was walk into that store and buy her a copy of Carolyn Mackler and Jay Asher's fabulous new novel, The Future of Us. I know she'll love it - all teenagers will (it's the story of two teenagers in the pre-Facebook era who discover their future selves on Facebook fifteen years in the future) - it also has nothing to do with The Outsiders but it's a great book that I'm pretty sure she'll connect with and I'm hopeful that her enjoyment of this book will erase the blah-ness of the t-shirt. More on The Future of Us in another post - it's entirely deserving of its own post!

Cookies for a Cause

2011-11-22T08:25:00.000-08:00

Many schools in our area now include community service as a requirement for students. At some schools, community service is incorporated into the curriculum and at others, the onus is on the students to find a way to give back. No matter how you slice it, I'm in favor. Participating in and giving back to your community is critically important to both the participant and the community. The earlier you start thinking of community involvement as integral to your identity, the better off we will all be. I am deeply appreciative of the opportunities our children's schools give them to help others and I feel strongly that the modeling and opportunities should come from both the home and the school. The approach to community service taken by Riverdale Country School's Middle School is particularly impressive and should serve as a model for other schools. There are school-wide community service days. The school also mandates attendance at and participation in a middle school-wide community action program. In addition, each grade participates in their own program and each advisory group/homeroom/homebase is responsible for a separate program that they choose, develop and administer. Finally, each student is responsible for individual community service. This program considers the community in which the student is a member at different levels and expects involvement at every level. I love it!!!

Recently at a parent grade meeting, the seventh grade dean at Riverdale Country School described the multiple facets of the community service program in the seventh grade. She explained that at the homebase level, the smaller groups of kids would select and devise their activities and that she was hoping to steer them away from the traditional bake sale. Bake sales and lemonade stands are time-honored, tried-and-true traditions but this year's seventh grade is encouraged to think more broadly and consider programs that require some engagement in the community they are seeking to assist beyond presenting a check or an envelope with cash - like painting a school or community center or reading to younger children or donating books, toys and clothing. So much good work to be done!

Though off limits this year to our seventh-grader, the bake sale remains a favorite way for kids to raise money for a cause. Pick up a copy of Jarrett J. Krosoczka's Lunch Lady and the Bake Sale Bandit to read with your 3rd-5th grader and follow Lunch Lady and the Breakfast Bunch hot on the trail of missing goodies from the bake sale intended to raise money for an all-important field trip! And while you're at it, pick up a copy of Sara Varon's Bake Sale to enjoy with that same child and experience the life and dreams of bakery owner Cupcake who is in a baking slump and wants desperately to meet the famous pastry chef, Turkish Delight. These bake sale selections are both in the form of comic books/graphic novels and each goes well with a generous serving of fresh baked cookies!

You are more than your grades

2011-11-16T14:29:00.000-08:00

When I was younger (much), I attended an elementary school where we did not receive report cards. Tests were graded, of course, and every student had a fairly good idea of how they measured up academically but no one was reduced to a grade and no one knew exactly where they ranked. A lot of parents were and are uncomfortable with the prospect of no report cards. I'm not. I think that grades are just one part of the story of "Child as Student" and only a very tiny part of the story of "Child as Person". It's hard to convince your kids they are not defined by their grades when their grades are staring them in the face. It's challenging to tell them that grades aren't everything when both you and they jump for joy at every A. I worry that I sometimes send a conflicting message because I do not get angry or upset by low grades and may appear laid back about school performance when, in reality, I am well aware of the competition that lies ahead and want to be sure our kids are always doing the very best that they can. That's the key, isn't it - the very best possible. The letters on a report card tell me a story about how well our children understand material they learn or how well they take tests. If someone receives a low grade, we can dig a little deeper to figure out if there is something going on. It should offer some guidance into what the student may need to review or how. I don't want to hear any of my children apologizing if they do not get an A. What I want to hear is the figurative grunt of a good day's work. I want each of our daughters to understand the importance of putting her best foot forward every time she goes out. If that foot steps in a puddle, so be it - dry off and pay closer attention next time.

Since our oldest daughter brought home the masterpiece known as Frindle home several years ago, I have been a huge fan of author Andrew Clements (who, incidentally, has recently agreed to present an award at the 2012 Children's Choice Book Awards and I'm so excited that I'll be meeting him in May). He's one of those awesome young-middle grade authors who has a book for everything and they all extol the power of children to make a difference. Pick up a copy of The Report Card by Andrew Clements, illustrated by the amazing Brian Selznick, and you (and your child, duh!) will not be disappointed.

You're on my list!

2011-11-15T14:50:00.000-08:00

I recently had a parenting breakthrough and I'm eager to share my genius with you. It emanated from the fact that, at 45, I have a lousy memory. When I complain to my children that they treat me like a slave, a bank or a non-person, they always ask for examples. I am no longer able to back up my claims with evidence on the spot so I've had to get creative. I let the girls know that I am now keeping a list. All behavior that disrespects me, together with the name of the perpetrator and the date of the offense, goes on the list. Here's the amazing thing - for an entire week after I first referenced the list, there were almost no offenses at all. The list was an awesome deterrent. Who knew?! It wasn't until the second week that the existence of the list was even questioned and it wasn't until the third week that anyone thought to ask about the consequences of landing on the list. The list is, in fact, real. It's in a small green notebook that I carry around. Part of the notebook is reserved for sweet and funny things the kids do so I can recall them easily when we play "remember when"; part of the book contains a running list of things I need to pick up and attend to (ranging from buying more hair conditioner to a growing list of bar and bat mitzvah gifts that we have not yet sent); part of the book just has work notes and thoughts; and part of the book houses my list under the heading "Disrespect Examples". I used to panic if I couldn't find my Blackberry because it contains all my contacts and my calendar but my green notebook has become far more valuable!

Keeping this list suits me for several reasons. First, of course, it's a vital memory refresher. Second, though, and just as important, is that it's motivated me to share a pet peeve of mine with our daughters and discuss it. I think we probably all know people who create mental lists of the wrongs that are done to them. I hate these lists because the keeper never discloses that they exist (and more often than not acts insulted if you suggest that it does) and because lists like these never seem to have a statute of limitations. There's really nothing at all to be gained by reminding someone of something they did to you 10 years ago or even one year ago. I want our daughters to be able to communicate effectively and problem-solve in the moment when something or someone affronts them. I do not want our girls to grow up harboring resentment; rather, I want them to be able to confront with empathy, integrity and class and then move on. As for my list, there is no consequence to be on the list other than the consequence that would generally attach to bad behavior and the very fact of being on the list. At the end of each week, the list in my notebook is disposed of so that each week can begin with a clean page. Our kids have been pretty clear - they do not want to be on the list.

In the interest of full disclosure, I am pretty sure that my husband of nearly 20 years will laugh when he reads this blog post and find some nice euphemism for "hypocrite". I don't think I ever make Jeff feel like I'm keeping a list of his historic faults to use like ammunition but he wouldn't be lying if he told you that I do sometimes tend to re-hash the past. With him. Only with him. I think. But I'm working on it.

Back to lists. I have two fabulous books to recommend for two different age group both written and illustrated by the same dynamic team but you might not know that from their covers. Whew! For the younger set I suggest the irresistible 13 Words by Lemony Snicket, illustrated by Maira Kalman. The list is awesome: 1. Bird 2. Despondent 3. Cake 4. Dog 5. Busy 6. Convertible 7. Goat 8. Hat 9. Haberdashery 10. Scarlet 11. Baby 12. Panache 13. Mezzo-Soprano - but you'll have to read the book to learn more!

For the older, young adult set, Daniel Handler (the man behind the Lemony Snicket curtain) is the author of Why We Broke Up, illustrated, again, by Maira Kalman. The narrator/protagonist is a teenage girl who amassed a collection of stuff during her short but meaningful relationship with her former true love and has decided to put it in a box and give it to him so she can finally be free of him. The book is the letter she writes to accompany the box. Each chapter is an item in the box; discussing its significance and considering it as a factor of the breakup. The letter is a list. It's a teenage breakup list. I honestly cannot imagine anyone sounding more like an authentic teenage girl than Daniel Handler does in this heart-warming and heart-wrenching book. Maira Kalman's illustrations make it so that you know exactly what has been included in the box. I would have loved to have this team guiding me through my teenage years!

In honor of my daughters, today's music playlist has only one song: So Much Better from Legally Blonde on Broadway has been playing in my head over and over as I wrote this post:

Is that my name up on that list?
Does someone know that I exist?
Is this a mistake?
Am I even Awake?
Pinch me now to make sure...
OW!
Yes that's my name in black and white
maybe I'm doing something right
WOW! I feel so much better
Than before!

Bonjour et Bienvenue!

2011-11-11T11:43:00.000-08:00

I apologize for the lapse since my last blog post. I apologize mostly to my mother who worries that something is wrong when I haven't posted in a while. Nothing is wrong. All is good. Like most people I know, though, my life is a spectrum of varying levels of insanity and chaos and when my schedule hits the extreme end of the spectrum, I start dropping balls. Today, I'm picking them up.

A few weeks ago, upon posting my most recent past blog post, I fully expected to post daily from that day on and chronicle our family's 10-day experience hosting a foreign exchange student. The whirlwind of activity that began around 11 pm on Tuesday, October 25th threw me for a loop and resulted in a change of plans. Our student left last Friday, though - just in time for the rest of us to rally behind Jeff who, superhumanly, ran the NYC marathon for the third time on Sunday - and now I'm back to recap. I should start by acknowledging that we won the foreign exchange student jackpot. Our 13-year old young lady from Bordeaux, France was intelligent, interested, interesting, fun, kind and exceptionally polite. It was a pleasure to have her in our home and to see our city through her eyes. I expected the experience to be a positive one for our family and hoped that our children would benefit greatly from the experience. It was and they did. We all did. I will admit, though, that I didn't fully realize how demanding this adventure would be (for me, I mean). It's not easy for anyone to be "on" all the time and, as much as I appreciated the opportunity to practice speaking French, it's is particularly difficult to be "on" in a language other than your mother tongue. Our daughter, with whom the exchange student was paired, was performing in her school play (which was awesome) and mending a badly sprained ankle during the visit, which made things more challenging than they might have otherwise been. In addition, our daughter does not speak a word of French. None of our kids do. And that was a challenge as well. Still, on the first night, when we all sat down to dinner together, somehow teenage girls from different worlds, speaking different languages, were able to communicate the fact that mean girls exist in all of their schools and none of them had any desire to be part of "that" crowd. It was fascinating and fabulous.

The experience really did teach everyone to be a little more sensitive and a little more flexible. It also taught me that, in an effort to make our guest feel comfortable and make my own family look good, I am perfectly capable of not yelling at my kids for 10 whole days. C'est bon!

Way back when I was in school, we read Antione de Saint-Exupery's The Little Prince. Actually, we read it in French, Le Petit Prince (not boasting; it's just that I grew up in Montreal), and it has turned out to be one of those classic stories forever etched in my memory. In English or the original French, it's a highly recommended adventure. If you want a slower start at the French language with your younger child, I suggest you pick up a copy of Fancy Nancy: Bonjour Butterfly. by Jane O'Connor, illustrated by Robin Preiss Glasser. That Fancy Nancy - she's always a crowd pleaser!

What I'm Reading Now

2011-10-25T11:47:00.000-07:00

I recently finished a captivating young adult novel that I highly recommend, Gabrielle Zevin's All These Things I've Done. It's set in future New York where the phrase "OMG" is a relic and coffee and chocolate are illegal. Combine this dystopian backdrop with an old fashioned crime drama and a forbidden romance and you have an incredibly addictive read. Gabrielle Zevin will be co-hosting our Annual Extreme Trivia Challenge in just a few weeks and, while that's an event where trivia questions are posed to players from the CBC's member publishing houses, my questions are all for Gabrielle - most notably, how soon can I get my hands on the sequel?! Meanwhile, if meeting Gabrielle Zevin that evening isn't exciting enough (which it, most assuredly, is), her co-host will be the amazing Carolyn Mackler. It just so happens that these two women have published books with the best titles ever. Carolyn Mackler is the author of The Earth, My Butt and Other Big Round Things and Gabrielle Zevin is the author of Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac.

When I read a satisfying book and know that I'll have to wait some time for the sequel (Fall 2012, I believe), I often opt for non-fiction as a follow-up. My current choice reads like fiction but is actually a very thorough and amazing "biography" of Cancer. Siddhartha Mukherjee's The Emperor of All Maladies presents Cancer as an antagonist with a story to tell through its relationships to the wider biological and animal world that is also, inexorably, our story. Though the style, format and purpose vary greatly, I couldn't help but think of Markus Zusak's The Book Thief when I was first introduced to Cancer. The Book Thief, you may recall, was narrated by death.I am glad that death does not narrate this one!

If , like me, you are intrigued by Siddhartha Mukherjee's book and like the idea of offering your child something to read that may invite discussion, may I suggest Okay for Now by Gary Schmidt? Seriously, it's sooooooo good. This ambitious young adult novel seems like it could work for anyone roughly 10 years old and up (way up). It runs through a multitude of themes and happenings and seamlessly weaves together so many different story threads, including one about cancer. If parallel reading doesn't work for you, then you and the children in your life may just want to read Okay for Now together.

A trip down grandparent lane

2011-10-19T20:15:00.000-07:00

I was very fortunate growing up to develop a close bond with my grandparents. I always felt special in their eyes and I always felt cherished. My grandparents were wonderful storytellers who used to regale us with their stories. I've forgotten the details of so many of the stories but I vividly remember the way my grandparents would coax stories out of one another and nudge and wink. And I remember feeling surprised at some point when I realized that they had experienced so many adventures and lived through so much before I was even born. I remember wanting the stories to go on forever. Beyond being my amazing and beloved grandparents, they were such interesting people.

I am deeply appreciative of the years I had with my grandparents and equally appreciative of the fact that my children know and love their four grandparents. Our kids love to hear stories about Jeff's and my childhood, about our brothers and about our parents. They particularly love hearing about the first time their grandfathers met their grandmothers and the courting that ensued. I hope their interest in learning about the individuals who regally wear the grandparent crowns in their lives never wanes.

One of the most magical books to cross my desk over the last few months is an exquisite and heartwarming picture book by the talented Lane Smith called Grandpa Green. It's one of those amazing picture books that excites you when your child wants you to read it aloud over and over again. The story is told through the eyes of Grandpa Green's great grandchild and each page discloses a biographical fact about Grandpa Green, depicted by sculpted topiary trees. We get to know Grandpa Green as an individual and glimpse into his full and fantastic life. On a personal note, I found the topiaries to be extremely emotional and comforting and I think it's because the first time I ever saw sculpted trees was on my first trip to Disney World where my family traveled a million years ago after a visit with my grandparents. I loved seeing Mickey, Minnie and Donald in tree-form! In any event, the story is wonderful, the illustrations are beautiful and the themes are plentiful. I feel and hope that this is one of those books destined to become a classic.

Kindness, Compassion, Integrity - Shine On!

2011-10-18T20:18:00.000-07:00

Like many parents, I spend a good portion of my parenting efforts guiding our children to be kind and compassionate to others. I want them to think before they speak and act and consider, before it's too late to take them back, the impact their words or acts may have on others. I also want them to understand that none of us is perfect and despite best efforts, we all make mistakes; even, sadly, sometimes in the way we treat others. The way people deal with their mistakes often says more about them than the mistakes they make in the first place.

Attention in my industry over the last week has been focused on what may go down in children's book publishing history as the National Book Awards Debacle of 2011. Early last week, the National Book Foundation (NBF) notified a select group of authors that they are finalists for the coveted National Book Award. By mid-week, the list of finalists was announced publicly. After the public announcement was made, the NBF people realized that they'd made a mistake. They had notified author Lauren Myracle that her book Shine was a finalist in the Young People's Literature category when they had meant to include Franny Billingsley’s book, Chime. Bear in mind that this is not a post about reading ability or reading comprehension or proofreading or even the ridiculousness of a particular mistake in the first place. After congratulating Lauren and then discovering an error, the NBF chose not to swallow their error but instead to let the author and the public know they had made an error. Necessary disclosure? I think not. They bittersweetly let Lauren know that they had made a mistake but that they had decided to keep both her book and Chime as finalists, on the merits. Had the story ended there, it might have been a little bumpy but it would have been a happy one. Not so. The error and the proposed solution were debated publicly over the next few days. By the end of the week, the NBF had the nerve to ask Lauren Myracle to withdraw from National Book Award consideration in order to preserve the integrity of the award and the judges' decision. Oy! Integrity?! It used to be one of my favorite words! So Lauren Myracle withdrew from 2011 National Book Award consideration. She did so gracefully and brilliantly. Her book Shine centers on the wrenching aftermath of a hate crime against a gay teen, and following her withdrawal, the NBF announced that “At her suggestion we will be pleased to make a $5,000 donation to the Matthew Shepard Foundation in her name.” The Matthew Shepard Foundation is a charity focused on respecting human dignity among young people. Bravo Lauren Myracle!

I want my children to understand all the elements of this story that were wrong and hurtful. I want them to be aware of the vital point that the NBF seemed to have forgotten - at the center of this controversy is and was a person; in this case, a woman who by all accounts is a treasure and is an indisputably cherished author of books for our young people. I want them to appreciate how one person can make a mistake that can steamroll out of control but that they had choices and opportunities and could have handled things differently. And I want them to admire the grace and humility with which a person can choose to deal with the mistakes and bad acts of another.

It probably doesn't take a genius to figure out what book needs to accompany today's post. It just so happens to be Teen Read Week so what better time to pick up a copy of Shine by Lauren Myracle. And while you're at it, pick up a copy of Chime by Franny Billingsley too!

Playlist for today's post
1. Let the sun SHINE, Hair
2. Nobody's Perfect, Hannah Montana
3. Miracles, Pet Shop Boys

You've got the whole world in your hands; the whole wide world

2011-10-06T12:21:00.000-07:00

A dear member of my staff is going to crack up when she reads this post and she should know that her email yesterday inspired the topic. The topic is globalization.

In selecting middle and high schools for our children, Jeff and I made a point of listening to the way the different schools expressed their plans for integrating this notion into their curriculum and the consciousness of their students. In the earlier school years, the focus is more on teaching a child to participate in a world where they are not alone and not the center. In the upper grades, students start to get a more vivid picture of the global landscape and, hopefully, a sense of their place in it and the opportunities it presents them. Our children attend the Hewitt School and Riverdale Country School in New York City and we are impressed by the efforts both schools make to get kids thinking globally and acting both locally and globally.

Earlier this week, I attended a meeting at school with one of our daughters that represented one small step on our family's part to think and participate globally. We will be hosting a French exchange student for 10 days at the end of the month. Though we're a little bit nervous (okay, completely overwhelmed) and still have some planning to do, we are very excited. It would be nice if our children could develop a lifelong connection with our guest and we're certainly hoping they all become fast friends but there's more. As hosts, our children will need to be flexible and hospitable and we're happy to give them and us this chance to practice important interpersonal skills. We're also hoping this experience helps spark an interest in the world for our children or ignite a spark that's already there. We're hoping all three of our children will want to travel, see the world and actively participate in it as they get older. On a more local level, we'll also be connecting to our own community in a different way. We'll be sharing the American way of life with our visitor and engaging in experiential storytelling. We're told that they do not celebrate Halloween in France and that the children coming to visit are very excited to experience American Halloween. You can only imagine the theme decor we're considering!

In honor of the world, take a look at Matt Phelan's Around The World. In graphic novel format, Phelan tells the stories of Thomas Stevens, Nellie Bly and Joshua Slocum and their adventures as they traveled around the world. Their journeys all took place in the late 19th century and were inspired by Jules Verne's novel Around the World in 80 Days. Nellie Bly's tour was, in fact, a race against the very novel that set her story in motion. She was determined to travel the world in less than 80 days and was delayed by a request from Jules Verne himself for a visit when she came to town. The stories are fascinating and the illustrations are full of feeling, enabling the reader to peer into the emotions of the intrepid explorers. This book publishes next week, on October 11, to be exact, and is a great addition to a global library. And when you're in the bookstore or trolling around Amazon on October 11, be sure to pick up a copy of Jarrett Krosoczka's new masterpiece, Ollie, the delightful and hysterically funny story of a purple elephant who just wants a place to call home and a family to love. Really, is that too much to ask?!

Wake Up!!!!!!!

2011-09-28T13:32:00.000-07:00

Morning time at our home is not pretty. I begin the process of waking the girls up at 6:30 a.m. and it's a rare morning that I don't feel like like pulling my hair out at some point during the process. In fairness, I should not be lumping the three of them together as if to suggest that they behave similarly in this regard. They don't. One of the three is a pleasure to wake up. I walk in, lovingly call her name and she rolls over and opens her eyes. It would be perfect if a smile then spread across her face but perfection is over-rated. One of her sisters grunts and growls a lot when I wake her up and it takes a few minutes before I am assured that she's awake but it's not too bad. Then there's "the one". There always is, isn't there? That would be the one they make films about; the one who makes me think my life is like the movie Groundhog Day because I re-live the same experience every 24 hours. I kiss her cheek, I kiss her forehead, I gently ask her to wake up, I begin to shout "wake up" in her ear, I tickle her, I yell louder, I beg, I plead, I yell some more. To no avail. She won't budge. I've put ice cubes down her back and, I confess, I've given her wedgies. She burst out laughing the first time I gave her a wedgie and then it never worked again. I threaten, I bargain and I bribe. Eventually she rolls over, tells me she wants to sleep more and grudgingly pulls herself out of bed. She holds all the cards. If I don't go through all the motions, she would happily stay in bed all day long. Since that's not an acceptable alternative, we do our dance. She reminds me a little of the protagonist in Dr. Seuss' I Am Not Going To Get Up Today who says, ""The alarm can ring. The birds can peep. My bed is warm. My pillow's deep. Today's the day I'm going to sleep!"

She insists she's tired because I wake her up too early but I'm convinced the problem is that she goes to sleep too late. She has a 9:30 bedtime but tries to extend it every night. There's always an excuse. When she was younger, she was one of those children who hated the thought of fun happening without her. Maybe she's still wondering if the party really gets started after the lights go out. Maybe it does. Take a look at Durga Bernhard's While You Are Sleeping: A Lift-the-Flap Book of Time Around the World. The book opens with a mom reading a bedtime story to her child and considers what people in different parts of the world are doing at the very same time. What a great way for kindergarteners to learn about different time zones. Off course, then they'll never want to go to sleep because somewhere there really is a party going on at bedtime!

Playlist for today's post:
1. A Day in The Life by the Beatles
2. The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars
3. Sun Comes Up, It's Tuesday Morning by the Cowboy Junkies
4. I Need Some Sleep by the Eels

When your child's school calls

2011-09-27T07:39:00.000-07:00

When you get a call from your child's school, other than the customary check-in call in the early grades, it's almost never good news. I say almost because there are indeed those rare teachers who call (even in the middle and upper grades) to let you know that your child did something awesome. The Hewitt school in New York City deserves a shout-out in this regard (and so does our daughter who is a student there). Last year, we received calls from two of our daughter's teachers who seemed genuinely delighted with something she had accomplished at school. In my experience, this is rare. Academics aside, one of those sentences most parents hate to hear when they answer the phone during school hours is "Hello, this is the nurse from X's school." At least when the teachers call, they generally assure you off the bat that your child is physically okay. When the nurse or nurse-substitute calls (never take for granted the fact that your child's school may have a nurse; many don't), they're not. Or at least they claim not to be.

Last Monday, I received such a call. The nurse proceeded to tell me that my child had fallen down the stairs and hurt her foot. I don't mean to sound cold but my first instinct was to laugh it off. Anyone who knows our kids well knows that they often walk with their heads in the clouds and are easily distracted by conversation and shiny objects. As a result, bumping into things and falling down is a regular occurrence and they've learned to fall properly and minimize injury. Not necessarily so this time. The nurse reported that she had asked our daughter to rate her pain using a pain faces chart and our daughter had rated her pain a 10 so I should come get her and take her for an x-ray. Have you ever seen one of those charts? Can you honestly tell me that any child would ever rate their pain on any occasion at less than 10? I spoke with the patient who confirmed that she had fallen down the stairs, thought she'd just rolled her ankle (like she usually does) so she got up to shake it off and keep going (like she usually does) and went back down because she couldn't bear weight. She tried to stand up again to call a friend to help her get to the nurse's office and proceeded to fall down a third time. She was quite calm and level-headed when we spoke, insisted that this was different from the other times she'd fallen down the stairs and told me her foot was swelling up and changing color. A trip to the pediatric orthopedist confirmed that she had a bad right lateral ankle sprain, which the doctor decided to treat as a break and she is now wearing one of those boot casts (that seem much cooler before you're stuck wearing one) that she's stuck wearing for 5 weeks. The moral of the story is two-fold: (1) when the school nurse calls, it's generally not to tell you that your child is a good kid and (2) though you may be skeptical when it comes to the pain faces chart, you know your kid and you probably know when your kid is exaggerating or not.

One of my favorite recent books involving a youngster sustaining injury is Raine Telgemeier's Smile, a 2011 Children's Choice Book Awards finalist for 5th-6th Grade Book of the Year. I have blogged about it before and will likely do so again. It's a great upper elementary and middle school comic book/graphic novel that tells the story of a twelve-year old who trips, falls, knocks out her front teeth and embarks on a miserable orthodontic adventure requiring her to wear all sorts of devices, including but not limited to a retainer with fake teeth attached. All this while she's trying to deal with being 12 and anyone with a child who is close to 12, 12 or past 12 remembers that 12 is tough on its own. The story is fantastic and the images are spot-on. I happen to love that the author's website is GoRaina.com because as you read the book, you really can't help but shout "Go Raina" on a regular basis.

Since I've decided it's cheating to keep blogging about the same books, no matter how apropos they seem, and there are so many great books to write about, I've decided to include a second book pick today. In honor of our daughter's sprained ankle, which is keeping her out of gym and sports for the next few weeks, consider picking up a copy of Kick by Walter Dean Myers and Ross Workman. This book about a thirteen year old soccer player headed for juvenile detention who develops a meaningful relationship with a cop is notable both for being a compelling story and for being a unique collaboration. The back cover says it all:

Here is the email that started it all:
Subject: Email from a Big Fan
Date: Mon., 3 September 10:07 AM

Dear Mr. Myers,
One of the reasons that you're my favorite author is that your characters seem so real and genuine. You're the only author I know of who doesn't sound like an adult when you're writing about kids.
Sincerely, Ross Workman

Subject: Re Email from a Big Fan
Date: Mon., 3 September 2:38 PM
Hey, Ross!
Okay, let's write a story. 80 pages with alternating voices. I do the first ten, then you do the second, etc.... What do you think?
Walter Dean Myers

Hundreds of emails and three years later, Kick is a published book.

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The wheels on the bus

2011-09-26T13:55:00.000-07:00

I had an experience this morning that reinforced my vote for bus as my preferred mode of transportation in New York City. Cabs are just too expensive and isolating. Subways are too cramped and dehumanizing. But the bus... it's civilized and it even gets its own lane down 5th Avenue making it a speedy and joyous alternative. People often acknowledge one another on buses in a way they don't seem to do as comfortably on the subway, unless it's to shout, "back off buddy!" Maybe it was recognition of this key difference that led me to tap a woman on the shoulder this morning and ask, "Are you Stacy Schiff?" And she was! If you look back a few posts and then again, a few more, you'll see that Stacy Schiff is the author of Cleopatra: A Life, a book I've blogged about and referenced on more than one occasion. I loved this book! I was inspired by this book! I wanted Stacy Schiff to feel like a celebrity this morning because, to me, that's what and who she is: someone to celebrate for bringing stories of fabulously brilliant, committed and misunderstood women like Cleopatra to light. I can only speak for myself, of course, but we had the most delightful conversation as the bus drove on and I believe this was the most satisfying celebrity sighting I've ever had. If you are a woman and you have not yet read Cleopatra: A Life, what are you waiting for?! Dare to be empowered. If you are a man and you have not yet read Cleopatra: A Life, read it! Dare to be dazzled by the strength of a woman - both by Cleopatra and, maybe even more so, by the brilliant author who pulls together all the threads of history to weave a better understanding of fierce and strategic leadership. I've gotta say, I felt empowered all day long!

The easy thing to do now would be to say that hey, I spoke with Stacy Schiff so obviously Cleopatra: A Life is the book pick of today's post. That goes without saying. But since I've already done that and Vicky Alvear Shecter's Cleopatra's Moon (which you really must read) several times, I've decided to go a different way. In honor of buses, today's pick is Richard Michelson's Busing Brewster. Busing Brewster is a picture book that tells the story of Brewster, a first grader who is representative of young African-American children in the 1970s, who were bused to previously-segregated all white schools. All three of these books share success at making history accessible, interesting and relevant.

What I'm Reading Now

2011-09-19T06:53:00.000-07:00

I recently read and thoroughly enjoyed Caleb's Crossing by Geraldine Brooks. I happen to be a huge fan of Brooks' style of historical fiction and her writing; I loved Year of Wonders and People of the Book. Caleb's Crossing made me appreciate both the author and the historical realities she confronts in her writing that much more. This is the story of the first Native American to graduate from Harvard. There is little known about the young scholar so Brooks weaves a compelling and intriguing tale. Her narrator is a young, smart and curious girl from a Puritan family who desperately wishes she could receive the same educational opportunities as the boys in her community, including her not-the-brightest-bulb brother. She and the young Native American who her missionary father seeks to provide an education develop a secret and profound friendship. Such a satisfying read!

If you've been following this blog for some time, then you know that one of my great joys is matching up adult and children's books that complement one another. I cannot help but think that the perfect young reader companion to Caleb's Crossing may be Sherman Alexie's The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. This semi-autobiographical novel for young adults tells the story of a teenager who leaves his his reservation to attend an all-white farm town high school where the only thing close to a Native American is the mascot. This 2007 National Book Award for Young People's Literature winner has been on my must-read list for a while. The time has come. And the timing is perfect because next week (September 24-October 1) is Banned Books Week and it so happens that The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian is one of the most frequently banned books of the last decade, because of references to and depictions of domestic violence, drug abuse, racism, poverty and sexuality and the use of profane language. Banned Books Week is a national celebration of the freedom to read. Hundreds of books are challenged in schools and libraries every year and you can be sure that some of your favorites are on that list (ahem... Judy Blume?!). I try to read a frequently challenged book every year around this time to take my own little stand. Bring on the Diary...

Where there's smoke...

2011-09-14T12:11:00.000-07:00

Another story from my mornings walking the dog... Lev (our pooch) and I were walking through our neighborhood early this morning when a lit cigarette came flying out of a window above us. We couldn't believe it! Seriously, we both instinctively jumped back and looked at one another incredulously. You know, you warn your kids about the evils of smoking and caution them about the danger of secondhand smoke but who would think of warning them about lit cigarettes being tossed from apartment building windows? Our daughters have enough trouble walking down the street without tripping or bumping into things. What a disaster it would be if they had to keep an eye on what might be falling from the sky while they're already looking ahead, trying to avoid bumping into people and looking down, trying to avoid the dog poop our neighbors have neglected to scoop. The danger associated with cigarettes knows no limits. Just Say No!

Here's a middle grade (meaning 9-12 year olds) book to consider that allows me to tie in both smoking and pets - consider Mavis Jukes' Smoke. The title character is the 12-year old protagonist's cat who goes missing after his young owner, Colt, is transplanted to a new home. Smoke was given to Colt as a gift from his dad when he was little and helped him feel connected to his dad after his parents divorced and he and his mom moved away. Smoke gets lost and the search for him puts Colt's life in danger, offering a whole new twist on the harm caused by smoke. Per the publisher's website, this story offers a "captivating look at cowboys, courage, and community, this is a tender tale about family and friends pulling together, and what it really means to be a man."

If the shoe fits...

2011-09-13T12:09:00.000-07:00

One of our daughters got dressed for school this morning in a bulky sweater. She then proceeded to mope about our home and complained that she looked fat. For a moment, let's ignore the fact that today is a hot and sunny day, emphasis on hot, by which I mean to say that it is not anywhere close to bulky sweater weather. The comment was a test and I was determined to pass. "Sweetie," I said, "you are anything but fat and nothing could make you look fat". This is the truth. She looked right through me and, to some spot on the wall I was incapable of seeing, said, "I feel fat". I asked why she didn't just change her clothes. She shrugged her shoulders. I insisted again that she did not look fat and suggested that maybe the lack of shape of the sweater was making her feel this way. I went on to explain that when you look like her, even a bulky sweater does not make you look fat as opposed to when you look like me and wear bulky sweaters to hide stuff , you must wear them with leggings so that at least some shape can be detected. I have been accused of offering unsolicited long-winded dissertations to our daughters and this was turning into one of those. I invoked the weather and suggested she put a shirt on under the sweater because when she gets too hot in the sweater, as she inevitably will, and wants to take it off, she should have a comfortable and slightly more fitted shirt underneath that will show her trim figure just a little better. She shrugged. I reminded her that today's temp will reach the mid-eighties and she will definitely be too hot. She put a t-shirt on underneath the sweater. She attends a school with a uniform and cannot walk around in a t-shirt so this made no sense at all. I told her. She took the t-shirt off but kept the bulky sweater. All I could do at this point was make sure she brought deodorant to school with her because sweat was the only sure thing. On the deodorant front, I succeeded. Everywhere else - epic fail!

Every day with kids is a pop quiz. With teenage girls, every pop quiz includes at least one brain teaser. When this particular child wore this particular sweater last year, it fit a little bit looser than it does now and though she knows it's because she's growing, she finds the whole thing unsettling. Telling her she could never look fat in anything wasn't helpful. It happens to be true and I had to say it but it wasn't helpful. The solution miraculously occurred to me as I took her to school. I turned to her and suggested that maybe this weekend we should go out and she could spend her birthday money on the new boots she's been coveting. Her whole mood changed. Her face lit up. The promise of retail therapy can be as effective as the experience itself. And every girl know that shoes and jewelry are the go-to items when you're in a body image rut.

Your littlest ones might enjoy Karen Baumont's Shoe-la-la!, illustrated by LeUyen Pham. This colorful picture book is a happy jaunt through the prettiest footwear. But shoe books don't have to evoke something pink or frilly - give your middle grader a copy of Gennifer Choldenko's Al Capone Shines My Shoes. This is a sequel to Al Capone Does My Shirts. The books are narrated by Moose Flanagan whose father is a prison guard at Alcatraz. The Alcatraz setting and shout-outs to some of its most famous prisoners make for a terrific blend of historical fiction and contemporary coming of age.

Dog Meets Dog

2011-09-12T10:15:00.000-07:00

A funny thing happened when I was walking our precious dog Lev this morning. Well, not really funny. Tragic, actually; all the more so because this was not the first time. Sweet little Lev loves nothing more than playing with other dogs. He is a master of the bait and switch. He lays down calmly, patiently and gently in wait when he sees a dog approaching, lures them in with his cuteness and then jumps all over them when they arrive. Dogplay always involves the dogs sniffing, maybe even licking, each other in places that make many humans a little uncomfortable. Dogs like Lev are not the least bit discriminating; they love all dogs - big, small, male, female - they just love to be loved and to give love. Lev is a smallish whitish Havanese and people generally assume he is a she. This morning, Levy was getting it on with some dog and the owner and I were chatting. The owner of the other dog - a gentleman that I would guess was in his late 50s or early 60s - kept referring to Lev as "she" as in, "she's so friendly", "she's so cute". I corrected him after the third or so reference and said, "actually, she's a he". He immediately tugged on his leash, said, "Bruiser, stop, let's go" and wished me a good day. I'm fairly certain he was concerned my dog was turning his gay. Seriously! Faced with so many levels of ignorance, I was shocked into silence, which frustrated me after I got my bearings and several good comebacks were ricocheting in my head. I can get past ignorance concerning dogs pretty easily but not blatant homophobia.

I'd like to believe that younger generations will grow up without hangups like these but if the man on the street this morning has kids of his own, who can say what messages they've been getting and disseminating? And we all know there are lots more like him. Further, we all know that gay teens continue to be subjected to unmitigated bullying by other teens. The cycle will continue until more people stand up and make an effort to end it by teaching their kids about fairness, compassion, equality and to embrace difference. For my part, I am relieved that our daughters are far more evolved that the man with the dog. When gay marriage was legalized in New York, they were confused as to how and why the law would have treated gay and straight people differently in the first place. I was stumped for a good answer.

At a diversity conference I attended last year at New York City's Hewitt School, attendees were asked what book representing diversity they would urge young adults to read. One librarian revealed that she recommends David Levithan's Boy Meets Boy to every teenager that seeks her out and even some that don't. Great choice! The story is narrated by Paul, who, like most teenagers, is preoccupied with love. The twist is that instead of the typical "boy-meets-girl" scenario, this one is "boy-meets-boy". An additional twist is the fact that though Paul is gay, he is not a tragic, rejected figure. Rather, he's just a typical teenager, dealing with relationship woes. Paul attends what we might consider a fantasy high school where tolerance reigns and shame is banished. The extreme positivity of the school environment gives readers a chance to read a story about someone just like them but maybe a little bit different and gives gay kids a chance to read a story about someone they can relate to who is not treated like a victim - there's something hopeful in seeing yourself portrayed a little more like everyone else. It's a great recommendation that I wholeheartedly endorse.

Happy Birthday A & K!

2011-09-06T14:23:00.000-07:00

And just like that (*snap*), summer has come to a close. We returned home from vacation in the wee hours of Labor Day morning and changed from summer vacation mode to school preparedness mode in an instant. Our three kids attend two different schools, only one of which began today. Despite the fact that the other one will begin tomorrow, we heard a chorus of "it's not fair" with a smattering of "can't I just miss the first day?" for effect. The first day back is tough on many people. I have always tried to arm our daughters with confidence on occasions such as this by reminding them of how wonderful they are and how nice it will be to reconnect with friends. As if that would ever work! The only thing that got people out the door this morning was the promise of a birthday celebration featuring red velvet cake for our two daughters who turn 13 years old today. Thank goodness for birthdays and double thanks for red velvet! But most of all, I am so grateful for our wonderful daughters and I wish only good things for our two spectacular birthday girls!

It's not easy to tell one teenager, let alone three, that the answer's in a book, or two, so I held back this morning but I am now intent on having all three of our children read Cleopatra: A Life by Stacy Schiff, followed by Cleopatra's Moon by Vicky Alvear Shecter. The first is the biography of the last queen of Egypt, a brilliant and charismatic leader. The second is a fictional account of the life and times of her daughter, about whom we know even less than we do about her mother. In both accounts, mother and daughter were scholarly, exceedingly intelligent, powerful women who were born to lead. I hope teenagers will give the biography a chance because it's so got so much fascinating material about one of the most intriguing women of all time. If that seems like too much for some, though, there's no way around the fact that Cleopatra's Moon is just an exceptional story, exquisitely written. It's a novel I've discussed before because I savored every page and then couldn't wait to share it. I am a big fan of stories, real and made up, that feature brilliant and powerful women. All the better if they're compassionate too!

See you in September!

2011-08-22T11:10:00.000-07:00

Just a short note today to answer questions you may have, arising from my last post.

1. We managed to fit Jeff and myself, our three daughters, our dog, 4 enormous duffel bags, 7 plastic stackable drawers, 3 full laundry bags, 3 sleeping bags, a few fold-up chairs and an enormous stuffed cow in the car last week when we picked our children up from camp. The dog is not loving the cow!

2. Had I put money on the attitude thing, I'd have lost a bundle! We brought home buckets full of tears but there was no bad attitude. I am delighted to write that we have three daughters who each had the most amazing camp experience ever and were sad to see it come to an end.

3. The summer is not quite over. In a few days we will head off on our family vacation. We will fly to Los Angeles and drive up the coast to San Fransisco. We can't wait.

I will be signing off now until just after Labor Day. Taking lots of books with me - both traditional print and kindle edition, both adult and children's - and I look forward to telling you about them all upon my return.

Meanwhile, if your youngster is already starting to feel anxious about the social situation at school in September, then cuddle together over a copy of Peter Brown's You Will Be My Friend!

Full House

2011-08-16T14:24:00.000-07:00

Later this week, all of our kids will be finished camp and back home. I've waited for this moment all summer long and, now that it's imminent, I'm kind of dreading it for a few reasons:

First, you may recall that a couple of months ago, we packed two of our children up for camp and barely made it into the car with all their stuff. Curiously, our kids tend to lose a lot of stuff at camp but they tend to come home with bags that overflow even more than they did when they left. The math may not compute but the reality recurs year after year. As a result, we drive up to camp on the last day, filled with the terror of knowing that the car may well not be up to the task of bringing all of us and all the stuff home safely.

Next is that in addition to the duffel bags full of stuff they bring home, there is also profound sadness and attitude.The sadness generally manifests in the uncontrollable flow of tears and the repeated lament, "you just don't know how I feel. I love camp soooooo much. Only my camp friends know how I really feel". Everyone is entitled to own their camp experience and their sadness at facing its end. As you may recall, one of our daughters has spent the summer at a performing and creative arts day camp while her sisters have been holed up (emphasis on "hole") at a sleep-away camp in the Berkshires. Day camp ended this past Friday and, from the final bus trip home from camp this summer, I received the following text: "I was crying and will probably be in pain for the next couple of days so I'll be sad. :( I love u tho". A little bit of rejoicing followed what was meant to be an emotional outpouring because this text confirmed that our child has had an exceptionally good summer and she is sad to see it end. She also tried to manage our expectations via this text and who wouldn't appreciate a gesture like that? Sleep-away camp seems to turn these emotions up a notch, at least for some kids, like at least one of ours. We have come to accept that the drive back home on Thursday will be tearful. I can handle this kind of tears. Experience, though, tells me that after we get the whole gang home, the attitude (some would say "baditude") will rear its ugly head and dissolve much slower than the sadness. We have not always had to deal with baditude and there's certainly some small chance that we'll be able to avoid it this time but it's unlikely. Re-entry is tough and an attutude adjustment is sometimes necessary.

Finally, the end of camp means the end of summer is just around the corner. Unlike our kids, Jeff and I do not get summers off but there's something to be said for working during the slower pace of long, warm summer days. I'll miss the sun, the warmth and the easy pace at work.But you can be sure, I'll make the most of it before it comes to an end.

Your young adult might appreciate Sarah Dessen's That Summer. This book was Sarah Dessen's first. Young readers may enjoy learning that the protagonist's name is Haven, which just so happens to be the name of actress Jessica Alba's new baby daughter. Is it possible that Jessica Alba is a Sarah Dessen fan? In any event, That Summer to the author herself "is mostly about Haven finding a way to feel comfortable in her skin'. Personally, I love the fact that the 15-year old female protagonist is neary 6 feet tall but that could be because I'm missing my nearly 6 feet tall 15-year old. Ask me how I'm feeling in a couple of days!

Younger readers may already be thinking about going back to school. Those who seem a little anxious might enjoy Lucy M. George's Back to School Tortoise, illustrated by Merel Eyckerman. We've all read our kids tons of books to help them get over the anxiety they may feel about going to or returning to school after a break but this one has a special twist at the end that's pretty precious!

Sometimes people amaze you in the best possible ways

2011-08-10T14:22:00.000-07:00

The last couple of weeks have been busy and exciting and, as you might have noticed, my blog has paid the price. We were busy interviewing candidates for two open positions at the Children's Book Council. Two members of my spectacular staff have moved on to new, exciting opportunities. I do not use the word "spectacular" lightly. One of the things I am most proud of in my professional life is my track record for hiring the most amazing people. Many people in our industry recognize and appreciate the strength, energy and enthusiasm of my staff and I delight in that appreciation. Upon hearing the news of our impending changes, I've received several sympathy notes. The reality is that I appreciate the notes in that they are an implicit and often explicit recognition of the amazing people I have the honor of calling my team. Having said that, I like to hire people early in their careers and help them along the path they choose so I am far more accepting of and comfortable with these sorts of changes than you might expect. When people move on, it also gives me a chance to meet new individuals who might just have the potential to change the world and I welcome the chance to know them, work with them and play a role in their career development.

The interview process at my office was reassuring, uplifting, and inspiring. After each interview, my team gathered to share impressions. I am not lying when I say we were wowed by every candidate we met. We are thrilled with the decisions we ultimately made but wish we could have opened up a few more positions. As an employer, I felt a little spoiled and overwhelmed by riches. The candidates we met were really that good. The candidates all happened to be young women and, as the mother of three even younger women, these meetings and these people excited me about the future prospects and perspectives of my own children and the impression I hope and expect each will make as they one day make their own way in the world. This may (okay, does) sound exceptionally corny (even cornier than the bit about my kids!) but as an American citizen and a citizen of the world, particularly these days when the state of our country and the global economy are so depressed and depressing, I felt curiously optimistic about life and the future. The answers, of course, lie within people and when young people inspire confidence and idealism, it's productive to see the world through their eyes and consider the possibilities.

In honor of my corny, patriotic moment, my book selection for this post is We Are America, written by Walter Dean Myers and illustrated by his son, Christopher Myers. The father and son team provides a moving, poetic account of what it means, to them, to be American. "What is it to be an American? To live in a strange and beautiful land of complexity, with a tumultuous history of epic proportions, among the people who were here first, who came after, who will come tomorrow." I'm banking on the people who are growing up now and coming into their own tomorrow!

Who said you're not perfect?

2011-08-09T11:17:00.000-07:00

Friends, family and colleagues have pointed out that it's been a while since I last posted to this blog. Sorry about that. I guess it's a little like a diet and exercise routine. I'm pretty good at maintaining a program once I've developed some momentum but once I slip off track, it's remarkably difficult to get back on. I had actually intended the big return blog post to be happy and funny but something happened this morning that changed my mind so please bear with me.

I took our daughter to her camp bus stop, like I do every morning. She was wearing her most awesomely stylish outfit of the season, which, incidentally, included a very cool fedora, and I was feeling reasonably stylish myself. We were happy and chatting away. A former doorman of ours, who now works in a building near the camp bus stop, came over to say hello. He hadn't seen any of our children in several years so I re-introduced him to our daughter and reminded him that she is one of the twins. He said it was nice to see her and then turned to me to say, "And congratulations - I see you have another one on the way". No, I don't. I politely corrected him, "No, I'm just fat but it was nice to see you." He said goodbye and left. I didn't have time to wallow because I had a livid child next to me who desperately wanted to rip him a new one, if you know what I mean, and I had to talk her down to make sure she got on her bus happily so that her day could start right. And then I wallowed.

Several people who are close to me will read this story and immediately want to call, email or text to assure me that I do not look pregnant and that he's an idiot. Much appreciated but, really, don't worry about me. I'd rather use the experience as a jumping off point for a different discussion. I have dealt with weight and body image issues for a very long time and had hoped to spare my own children the trauma. I haven't succeeded. What do you do when your child tells you she's fat or ugly or fat and ugly? There's no easy answer. If you haven't figured it out by now, a mother telling her child that she is beautiful and not fat is pretty well worthless. Don't get me wrong, you still have to say it but you should know that it will do nothing to solve the problem. It's also not particularly helpful to blame the media. While it's true that convoluted notions of physical beauty are conveyed negligently by the media and it may be intellectually interesting to acknowledge the genesis of a problem, it won't help your child to feel better about him or herself. Sometimes the only thing that helps is to open your child's eyes and mind to the fact that they are not alone - that most people are not entirely delighted with everything about themselves - and that it does get better. Encourage your children to find their way, to express themselves in a way that makes them feel as beautiful as possible, and to be healthy and informed in the process. And encourage them to define beauty in a way that works for them, based on what they know and experience. Does objective beauty even exist? Each of our daughters identified a boy she was crushing on to some extent this summer and each raved about how cute he is. I doubt that any of them saw the object of their sisters' affections in the same handsome light. Taste and beauty are subjective. Surround yourself with people who help you feel beautiful and who, maybe, see you just a little differently from the way you see yourself.

No matter what your perspective or your personal state of self acceptance, the universal truth is that adolescence is complicated, difficult and a stage of development fraught with insecurities. Some of us never entirely outgrow those insecurities but it seems clear that they peak for most people during adolescence. In 1995, psychologist Mary Pipher wrote the book Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls, equating the contemporary adolescent experiences of teenage girls to Shakespeare's ill-fated Ophelia. Pipher wrote of eating disorders, self-mutilation, abusive relationships and more. Sixteen-year old Sara Shandler read the book, identified with many of the experiences described and took it to the next level. She reached out to teenage girls and asked them to write and submit their own stories. She compiled the stories and in 1999 published her response, Ophelia Speaks: Adolescent Girls Write About Their Search for Self. Some of the stories included in Ophelia Speaks are difficult to read and, for many girls, not easily relate-able but many of them speak to a common or shared experience. There is value in knowing that your experience and feelings may be imprinted with your own uniqueness but the core is something you have in common with more people than you may have ever realized. Mary Pipher's thesis, that teenaged girls in the 90's were coming of age in "a girl-poisoning culture," punctuated by abuse, self-mutilation (e.g., anorexia), consumerism and media pressure to conform to others' ideals, is as relevant now as it was then; maybe more so. Pipher offers concrete suggestions girls can try to build and maintain a strong sense of self, e.g., keeping a diary, observing their social context as an anthropologist might, distinguishing between thoughts and feelings - practical approaches that you may want to suggest to your own children but you might also suggest they take a look at Ophelia Speaks.

One of our daughters is currently reading The Summer I Turned Pretty by Jenny Han. Talk about a book worth buying for the title alone! It's a story of first loves and first kisses and I can't help but note the smile on the face and the twinkle in the eyes of my young reader while she's reading it.The sun-kissed effect alone of a satisfying summer is enough to make anyone feel just a little bit prettier than before.

p.s. If you're not sure what the title of this post has to do with the rest of it, go listen to Who Said by Selena Gomez. Beautiful song, powerful message!

Understanding your teen through books

2011-07-28T13:58:00.000-07:00

Clearly I have a bias in this regard but, as far as I'm concerned, books are powerful tools and one of the few weapons in a parents' arsenal to help bridge the divide when their children become teens. In some cases, simply by reading some of the contemporary Young Adult (YA) literature, parents can learn about the reality in which their teens are growing. In other cases, books can provide a stepping stone to valuable conversations that may just arm your child for some of what he or she will encounter as a teen. Check out this article written by Karen Springen, sharing her thoughts on the best teen books for moms and daughters to read and discuss. Among her recommended titles are Cleopatra's Moon by Vicky Alvear Shecter (one of my all-time favorite books!), Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher, The Help by Kathryn Stockett, Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, Pretty Little Liars by Sara Shepard and Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin. I think this is a great and varied list but I just can't resist the urge to add a few more. There are certain books I think every teen and every parent of a teen should read - boy or girl, mom or dad. These include Exposed by Kimberly Marcus, The Mockingbirds by Daisy Whitney and Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson. Happy reading!

Rain Rain Go Away

2011-07-27T07:29:00.000-07:00

It's been a sweltering summer and the few storms that promise some respite from the heat have been reasonably welcomed by most of us. Not our dog! Our poor little pup is terrified of stormy downpours. Last night he searched and searched for a hiding place but just couldn't escape the sound of the rain slapping the windows. Up until a couple of years ago, one of our daughters was similarly traumatized, even paralyzed, by storms. We tried everything to de-sensitize her and nothing worked. We held her close and comforted her. We hid under the covers with her. We told her the sound of thunder came from cloud giants bowling and when it got really loud, it just meant they were having an awesome time. It didn't help. Nothing did. Then, one day, she was out in the rain with nowhere to hide and, without warning or hoopla, just came to terms with the water pouring down. She miraculously realized she was not and would not be getting hurt. We had tried so hard to help get her to this point but, in the end, she did it on her own terms. It's pretty awesome now to see her trying to comfort the dog!

Lots of kids are afraid of storms (and plenty of other things). Parents are always looking for ways to help their little ones confron their fears and move on. I had the pleasure recently of reading a delightful picture book called The Rain Train by Elena de Roo, illustrated by Brian Lovelock, that makes rain the stuff of lullabies. Well, I wish I had thought of that years ago!! The sounds of the rain are lyrical and even soothing throughout this colorful, beautiful book. It's the perfect bedtime story to incorporate into the rotation for the youngest of children who just may grow up looking forward to stormy nights!

P.S. I Hate it Here Too/Two

2011-07-26T09:01:00.000-07:00

I recently blogged about the letters that come home from summer camp that knock your world off its axis because there's no disputing the fact that at the moment those letters were written, your child was indeed miserable. Having dear friends contending with this very issue at the time, I was quick to point out that the letter reflected a moment in time and the moment was likely the one miserable moment among thousands of joyful moments. One dear friend let me know that a week after receiving the letter declaring misery, the same child sent a precious letter to herself at home, letting her home-self know that her camp-self was having a blast and should definitely return to camp next summer. How awesome is that?! So here's my story: one of our daughters who is away at camp for 8 weeks this summer, enjoyed the first 4-week session immensely. We visited her and her sister this past weekend and she looked happy and fabulous and the stories were bubbling out of her. The problem is that this child is not very good at goodbyes and visiting day - a necessity for parents and most campers - is excruciatingly difficult for her. The stories that flowed when we greeted her were replaced by tears when we said goodbye. Yesterday we received the first letter from the second session. It said: "Dearest family, First session was so much better... I know you guys won't let me but I want to come home so badly. Can you think about it? Please." It was so sad. We were so sad. We are so sad. We know that the letter is reflective of a sad moment but let's be real - evidence of that moment is like putting a dagger through my heart! Bring on the jellybeans!

Camp is clearly a growing experience for all of us. Just when you think you're out of the woods...

Funny that as I re-visit this issue (for my own therapeutic value), I also happened to receive a timely note from the author/editor of P.S. I Hate it Here. Diane Falanga let me know that she is currently working on volume 2 and looking for camp letters. If any readers would like to submit their kids' camp letters for possible inclusion, she'd love to see them. You can reach her at http://www.facebook.com/psihateithere or spacedefined@me.com.

A letter from my daughter

2011-07-19T06:39:00.000-07:00

With kids away at camp, you find yourself starting out by hoping to receive word from them - any word - just a little letter to reassure you that they're still in one piece. Once you get that first letter and you know they're breathing, you realize that you really want and need more - a sign that they're happy and loving camp. I remind my children of these needs every summer before they head off to sleepaway camp but as soon as they get there, they get involved in countless activities and my needs fade. This is a good thing and I know that it's a good thing. I also know that kids live in the moment so it's likely that during the course of any given summer, at least one of our daughters will head back to her bunk and write at that one moment when she's feeling a little tired, disconnected and homesick. At the other end, we receive that letter, forget what we know to be true or likely and panic. When this happens, you could head for the jellybeans, you could call the camp to find out what's going on or you could take a deep breath and give the experience the same chance you're asking of your child. We've certainly received those letters over the years and I've eaten jellybeans by the boatload but our daughters insist that they love camp and would never dream of giving it up.

The thing about letters is that you never know what you're going to get. This summer, we've received several letters from one of our daughters that have focused on some of her favorite experiences so far and have been beautifully introspective. She has been exposed to remarkable people and stories this summer and, as a result, has let us know that she is feeling very connected to our religion and her faith. Her letters have been incredibly vivid and meaningful. Through it all, the message that's come home is one of pure joy and it is abundantly clear that this child is having the greatest summer of her life. The unexpected can be a gift!

As our children discover who they are and what our religion and culture mean to them, I can't help but hope that in the course of their lives they will be open to learning about other religions, traditions and culture. I hope that much of their exposure to the rich fabric of diversity in the world will come from hands on experience but, for me, there's great comfort in the fact that they can experience so much from books as well. Take, for example, Reza Jalali's Moon Watchers: Shirin's Ramadan Miracle, illustrated by Anne Sibley O'Brien. This story of Shirin, a young Muslim girl, and her family at Ramadan weaves together the traditional observance and meaning of the holiday with a lively drama of sibling rivalry. I enjoyed reading about the holiday and the traditions and I loved the evolving story of the relationship between Shirin and her brother Ali.

What I'm Reading Now

2011-07-18T08:35:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure where the last week went but I'm looking forward to the week ahead. Visiting day with our daughters is coming up quickly (on Saturday) and I have an exciting week at work to keep me busy until then. We are planning events and programs and interviewing prospective new members of our team. From the resumes alone, it is clear that there is tremendous talent out there and we are looking to nab us some of that. The bittersweet reality of it is that new opportunities have arisen because some of the beloved members of our CBC team have moved or will be moving on. It is because I've had the most amazingly talented and brilliantly charming staff that I feel good about our prospective candidates.

Similarly, it is because I've been reading such great books lately that I feel good about the future of book publishing and can't wait to see what else is out there. On the adult side, I just finished a book that I LOVED! It's called The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern and though its pub date is not until September, you can and should pre-order it on the author's website by clicking here. The writing is fantastic, the descriptions are so vivid and delicious and the story is sooooooo satisfying. Here's a description from the author's site (which I've cut and paste because I have too much respect for this book and its creator to risk mangling it on my own:

The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazements. It is called Le Cirque des Rêves, and it is only open at night.
But behind the scenes, a fierce competition is underway—a duel between two young magicians, Celia and Marco, who have been trained since childhood expressly for this purpose by their mercurial instructors. Unbeknownst to them, this is a game in which only one can be left standing, and the circus is but the stage for a remarkable battle of imagination and will. Despite themselves, however, Celia and Marco tumble headfirst into love—a deep, magical love that makes the lights flicker and the room grow warm whenever they so much as brush hands.
True love or not, the game must play out, and the fates of everyone involved, from the cast of extraordinary circus performers to the patrons, hang in the balance, suspended as precariously as the daring acrobats overhead.

For my middle school aged kids (and my middle-aged brother who is, was and will always be the greatest Beatles fan I've ever known), I am now reading Greg Taylor's The Girl Who Became a Beatle. It all starts with the musical protagonist's wish, "I wish I could be as famous as the Beatles". It appears not to be your average Cinderella/Fairy Godmother story. The morning after making her wish, Regina Bloomsbury awakens to find herself in the middle of her wish. Not only is she as famous as the Beatles, she has replaced them! Their songs are her songs.Hmmmmm... this could be fun!

Hooray for Harry Potter!

2011-07-11T18:27:00.000-07:00

In honor of the final installment of the final Harry Potter film, out later this week, the Early Career Committee (ECC) of the Children's Book Council, headed by my fabulous staff, has gone to great lengths to create what might be the most elaborate event in the history of the Children's Book Council. The event is Harry Potter trivia night. My staff of HP enthusiasts and their HP-obsessed ECCers sent scripted acceptance letters on parchment paper with wax seals delivered by owls to participants, they have painted banners to reflect the different houses at Hogwart's, they have created a Hogwart's Express for photo souvenirs, they have created zillions of gold origami snitches, they've included a tribute to Moaning Myrtle in the bathroom, they will don costumes and this is just a taste. The creativity knows no bounds - spells have even been cast on the food. What a great reminder this is of the magic that is the Harry Potter series. These books magically transformed non-readers into readers and engaged children of all ages, including the inner children in their parents. The books led to movies and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter Theme Park but did you know that they also lead to the invention of a sport? Just ask the International Quidditch Association. The power and magic of storytelling has never been as evident as it has been in this amazing series, for so many reasons. I hope the CBC ECC guests have a magical time tomorrow evening and I hope someone saves me a licorice wand!

I'm gonna sit right down and write myself a letter...

2011-07-10T18:47:00.000-07:00

A few friends have heard me whine recently about the lack of letters home from one of our daughters who is away at camp. The fact is she has been writing but she has taken to sending the three of us at home letters to share. In other words, she will write to her dad, to her sister and me all at once and select one of us as the recipient each time. She had been away for two weeks by the time I was the designated recipient. In that letter, which happened to be an awesome letter/chock full of info, she let us know at the outset that she rejected any sadness I was feeling at not having been named the recipient earlier (I cannot lie - I had whined about it to her too!). She took a firm stand on the fact that we were all the joint recipients of her letters and the "inbox" in which they were and are received should not matter at all. My husband Jeff agreed with her, applauded her reasoning and offered to hire her as an associate if she ever decides to go to law school. I canvassed a few friends to make sure I wasn't losing my mind! My friends made me feel both supported and sane. Turns out that many of my fellow moms understood why it was important to me to be the recipient of a letter from my child, even if we couldn't articulate why. I could, however, try turning the tables on her. I wrote back a loving note and included the question - how would you feel if I wrote combined letters to you and your sister and addressed them all to her? She hasn't written back yet so I don't know if I'm getting through but I'm willing to bet the response will end up in someone else's "inbox".

I think I've reacted so emotionally to this situation partly because I miss my daughters very much and partly because the changing nature of the mother-daughter relationship, particularly during adolescence, baffles me. We are on an emotional odyssey, full of twists, turns and unexpected changes in the elements. This same daughter used to write loving letters to me all the time and made me promise to write to her every day that she's away (oh, did I neglect to mention that I write to her every day?!). Speaking of our odyssey, please share Gareth Hinds' The Odyssey with your kids. This is a graphic novel based on Homer's epic poem and it's wonderful - as in truly full of wonder. The illustrations are magnificent and the story is told in such an accessible, digestible way. I love this book and believe that it transcends any age designation - read it aloud to younger kids, read it alongside older kids and read it in a parallel universe with your teens - you'll all be glad you did!

Book Club Suggestions

2011-07-08T11:20:00.000-07:00

Several people have asked me recently for Book Club suggestions. I'm not much of a book clubber myself but there are definitely some books that could provoke intense and/or interesting discussions.

For adult book clubs, I will offer that, according to this morning's Shelf Awareness, the following are the most popular book club books during June based on votes from readers and leaders of more than 30,000 book clubs registered at Bookmovement.com:

1. The Help by Kathryn Stockett
2. Room: A Novel by Emma Donoghue
3. Cutting for Stone: A Novel by Abraham Verghese
4. Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand
5. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot
6. Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet: A Novel by Jamie Ford
7. The Paris Wife: A Novel by Paula McLain
8. Little Bee: A Novel by Chris Cleave
9. Water for Elephants: A Novel by Sara Gruen
10. Half Broke Horses: A True-Life Novel by Jeannette Walls

For parent-child book clubs, I would suggest the following:

1. For pre-K-2nd Graders: A Place to Call Home by Alexis Deacon, illustrated by Viviane Schwarz (see blog post dated 7/6/11)
2. For 3rd Graders: Lunch Lady and the Summer Camp Shakedown by Jarrett J. Krosoczka (see blog post dated 4/3/11)
3. For 4th-5th Graders, consider Jimi: Sounds Like a Rainbow, A Story of the Young Jimi Hendrix, by Gary Golio and illustrated by Javaka Steptoe. (see blog post dated 6/29/11)
4. For 5th-6th Graders, consider Okay for Now by Gary Schmidt (see blog posted dated 5/27/11)
5. For teens: Exposed by Kimberly Marcus (see blog post dated 2/16/11)

Each of these books has cross-gender and cross-generational appeal. You'll find there's lots to think about and lots to talk about. Happy reading!

P.S. I Hate it Here

2011-07-07T09:34:00.000-07:00

Isn't it ironic that summer means time off and play for kids but the planning can be so stressful for parents? It takes a lot of work to make a summer seem carefree and well spent. Out three daughters are only now beginning to truly understand that when you're an adult, you generally don't get summers off so they need to make the most of their summers while they can. Still, I don't think they quite appreciate how much effort has gone into creating this great summer experiences for them over the years. Having put in so much time and energy, what do you do when your child is unhappy with the plans you've made for their summer break from school? I've heard several different reactions from several different people. Some parents will go back to the drawing board and come up with new exciting opportunities, wanting their children to enjoy and savor each and every summer moment available to them. Others will tell their kids to buck up and make better choices next year. In our experience, Jeff and I fall somewhere in the middle. When one of our children tried zoo camp for a week and hated it, we told her to buck up - it was day camp for 5 days and we wanted her to make the most of it. When one of our daughters tried sleepaway camp for a month a few years back and quickly discovered it was not for her, we went to retrieve her and re-program her summer immediately. We're all for toughening up but not so much in favor of scarring! There is no one-size-fits-all summer program and we are so fortunate as parents to have so many possibilities to consider for our kids. This doesn't mean we'll always get it right; hopefully we'll know when we've gotten it wrong enough to make a change!

When kids are away at sleepaway camp, particularly when they are on the younger side, it can sometimes be challenging to determine if they're actually having fun or not (not so in the case of our daughter who made it abundantly clear that she needed to come home early; we were grateful for the clarity and proud of her for having a clear enough sense of herself to let us know what she needed). Beware the photos that many camps now post online each day to show you how much fun the kids are having - the resulting photo psychosis whereby you spend hours each day examining every detail of every expression on your child's face and body language is tough to shed. For me, it's a chronic perennial condition. My kids have spent the last 6 summers at sleepaway camp and I still search for signs of life, happiness and integration within the social fabric way too much! And beware of reading too much into letters that come home. Consider these rules of thumb: If they're not writing frequently, it's because they're busy having fun; If they look tired in some of the photos, it's because they're busy having fun; If they write home about a kid in the bunk that is annoying them, remember that this is precisely the sort of behavior that will lend itself to the development of strong problem-solving skills; If the experience isn't working for them and they need to come home early, the camp will let you know! If you need a little extra boost to get you through, pick up P.S. I Hate It Here,. Inspired by her own daughter's "melodramatic rants" from camp, Diane Falanga collected more than 150 real letters from kids age 8-16 that cover all the imaginable scenarios, from acing the cabin lice inspection, to rowing in the “ricotta” race, to breaking the bad news about a retainer lost in the wilderness. Per the publisher, these letters reveal that kids are wittier and more sophisticated than we might assume, and that the experience of being away from home for the first time creates hilarious and lasting memories.

Home Away From Home

2011-07-06T07:19:00.000-07:00

I have friends who never went to sleepaway camp and think that the prospect of sending your kids away for the summer is neglectful and maybe even barbaric. I wonder how I would view the camp thing if I hadn't been a camper myself. It's hard to say. As a parent sending my kids off to camp for two months, knowing I'll see them only for one day in the middle, my internal conflict, which rages on throughout the season because I miss them very much, always resolves in favor of granting my children the kind of experience and independence they can only get from sleepaway camp, if they want it. I enjoy the fact that they always seem to appreciate home that much more when they return at the end of the summer and I revel in the way they assert their independence just a little more each year. I don't know if camp will ultimately help them (or me) adjust to college away from home but here's hoping. I do believe that sleepaway camp breeds flexibility, self-awareness, compassion and problem-solving skills. I also support the idea of separating kids from computers and TV sets for a while. Ultimately, I love knowing that my kids are able to make a home away from home for themselves and that they then return to the home we have built for and with them. It's all good!

Last night I took home a picture book that should become a classic. Alexis Deacon's A Place to Call Home, illustrated by Viviane Schwarz, is one of the greatest picture books I've ever experienced. It's hysterically funny (the laugh-out-loud kind!), heart-warmingly adorable and entirely delightful. Seven furry hamster-like brothers outgrow their nice, warm, safe hole in the ground and go out in the world in search of a new home. They adventures take them across the sea (a puddle), to the edge of the world (atop a washing machine) and face-to-face with a beast (a dog). But they help each other and, eventually, find a wonderful new home. Quite honestly, this is a book a child will want to read over and over again and so will a parent. Enjoy!

Perception and Misperception and Changing Perception

2011-07-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

Hope everyone enjoyed their 4th of July and Canada Day celebrations!

Today's post is about perception; particularly, perceptions about people and friendships. For a period of time in a child's life, they are likely to miss cues from others or mis-characterize them. Many kids go through a phase where they read everything dramatically. Mine certainly did - for a while, it was not uncommon for one of the girls to come home from school and let me know that X didn't like her anymore. "How do you know?" I would ask. "Because she didn't save me a seat at lunch" or "Because she didn't laugh at my joke" or "Because she looked at me funny". Parents come to know that these dramatic conclusions about friends are par for the course. The challenge is holding back and not sounding dismissive while trying to toughen up your kid with a dose of realism. I used to tell our kids to buck up and not read too much into one glance or incident but I would balance it by also telling them that there are bound to be some people that really don't like them just as there are already some people that they don't like and that's life.

At some point, though, children develop sharper and keener perception and, as parents, it's important to turn the corner with them. When our daughters come home now and let me know someone doesn't like them, my first reaction (that I generally keep to myself) is a little like Seinfeld's mother, in the eponymous sitcom, when she was baffled at why anyone would not like her son? “How can anyone not like you?" Then I take a step back because I know that our daughters are generally past the point where their perception of themselves as they relate to others is shaky. I wouldn't be doing them any good at this point if I insisted that they were reading too much into a glance or a slight. If they're convinced that someone is tired of them or just doesn't like them anymore, then I've learned from experience, they're probably right. The fact that they've learned to read others well is an achievement. The message from mom is now vastly different from the message they used to get. I wouldn't suggest lauding the achievement when they've let you know someone doesn't like them but I would laud silently and then deal with the unhappiness as best you can.

The funny thing about perception is that now, when our daughters have become incredibly perceptive about the way see and relate to others, their self-perception is more distorted than ever.

Things are not always as they appear. For a great beginner's look at perception and perspective, consider Craig Frazier's Bee & Bird. This beautiful, wordless picture books keeps you guessing and will keep your little one giggling.

It's a Twin Thing

2011-06-30T07:11:00.000-07:00

When I reflect at the the end of the summer, I am quite sure that yesterday will be remembered as one of the best days of my Summer of 2011. Yesterday, one of our daughters received her first letter from her twin sister who is away at camp. The recipient of the letter has been writing to both of her sisters daily and had just come through her first meltdown of the summer when the realization that her sisters are gone hit fiercely and she missed them terribly. Somehow that twin telepathy thing got going and the letter arrived exactly when it needed to. My husband and I also received letters from that daughter yesterday, which we loved, but it was the letter from sister to sister/twin to twin that lit up our world.

Our twin daughters are two very distinct individuals who get a tremendous amount of love, support and companionship from one another. Our twin daughters attend different schools and different camps and in each case, the school and camp selected are just the right fit for that particular child. I have been questioned on this by several people with twins because it seems so unnecessarily complicated and many twins derive strength from their togetherness. The thing is that though our daughters look very much alike to many people (not at all to us!), they couldn't be more different. There's no one-size-fits-all road map when it comes to twins, just like none exists for kids in general. Ultimately, you've just got to know your kids - our path works for us.

It's funny that people expect people who look alike to be alike. Our daughters take great pride in their differences and, in fact, each has been known not to pursue an interest she feels is already in her sister's realm. The fact that they each declared an interest in theater this year was actually a huge step for them! For a fun look at the world of twins, you might want to suggest that your young reader take a look at Grace Lin's Ling & Ting: Not Exactly the Same. Twins abound these days and it's a safe bet that your child goes to school with twins - this is the kind of book that will have them saying, "hey, it's just like A and B!" Never underestimate the importance of recognizing individuality!

Time Warp

2011-06-29T06:11:00.000-07:00

One of our daughters is attending a performing and visual arts day camp for the summer, where campers declare a major area of concentration and a minor. Her major is musical theater. She will spend two hours every day learning theater techniques and preparing for the big performance at the end of the summer. On the first day, her instructor described the play they will be performing and our daughter, in turn, described it to us. It's a story about an old guy who, following a dream sequence, goes back in time to high school where he has another chance to deal with the cool kid, the nerd, the mean girls, etc. The old guy returns to his high school days in the 80s and each scene is highlighted by a song from the era; songs like Footloose and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Were you paying attention there? This old guy goes back to the 80s. Wait a minute! I was in high school in the 80s! I'm not that old, am I?! Kids have such a funny perspective when it comes to aging and so their parents; totally divergent.

I had a similar "hold your horses" moment (an expression my dad used to use that always struck me as an old person's saying, even when he was my age!) when I read some of my favorite books written for middle grade readers that were set during my childhood and are considered works of historical fiction. Gary Schmidt's Okay For Now, set in the late 60s, and Rebecca Stead's When You Reach Me, set in the late 70s, come to mind. I find it bewildering that my childhood is now far enough in the past to be fodder for historical fiction. Surely I'm not that old! Shouldn't historical fiction focus on the very olden days? Of course, there were no cellphones, Internet, Facebook, Twitter, or BBMing in the days of my childhood and when you consider the changes to the technological landscape alone, it's easy to consider those days olden.

For a real glimpse into history, consider Jimi: Sounds Like a Rainbow, A Story of the Young Jimi Hendrix, an advanced picture book written by Gary Golio and illuistrated by Javaka Steptoe. What an interesting glimpse in the visually artistic and truly talented kid who grew into a legend and, many would say, the greatest electric guitarist of all time. The illustrations are key to getting a true sense of the musician as an artist and the text is fascinating and inspiring. Gary Golio writes children's books about legendary musicians and artist like Jimi Hendrix, Bob Dylan, and John Coltrane. Parents who want to share their love of music and insight into musicians with their kids should check these out.

Baggage

2011-06-28T06:46:00.000-07:00

If you happened to read yesterday's post, then you know that two of our daughters are now away at sleepaway camp. Their packing choices speak volumes about their adolescent development and respective stages. The packing for one child was a tribute to minimalism. She followed the packing list with almost no deviation at all, fit everything into two duffle bags, with room to spare, and three plastic drawers, which all the kids bring to camp these days because there never seems to be enough shelf space (of course, the cabins don't have enough space to accommodate all the plastic drawers the campers bring but that's another story altogether). She had nothing to carry by hand other than the requisite backpack, which, in her case, was light as could be. Her duffles and drawers fit easily into the SUV that we rented for the drive up to camp.

Enter her older sister. She used to pack the very same way. Those days are gone. In the days leading up to this year's departure for camp, her stuff covered every available square inch of our family room. I went out to pick up the last thing she was sure she needed about 25 times. Her two duffle bags were bursting at the seams (she admitted to getting blisters when she tried to zipper them shut) and she filled 4 drawers rather than 3. It was still not enough. She had 2 fans, 2 chairs, a tennis racket, a sleeping bag and more that just wouldn't fit. She insisted she wasn't bringing any more than she had in prior years. Seriously, any fool could see that she was taking way more - but this fool couldn't figure out what was taking up all the space. I had her remove a few items to make a little additional room, all the while wondering how we'd ever fit everything into one car. She removed a towel, a few fancier-than-necessary tops and her tennis racket. We schlepped it all to the car and enlisted the help of our very clever doormen who miraculously managed to squish in every last bit and then tied the various pieces together and to the car itself.

When we got the kids up to camp, I helped them unpack. The minimalist was unpacked with ease. There was a space for everything. When I moved down the row of cabins to see her older sister, I was stumped anew. I still couldn't figure out what she had packed, much less where we would put it all. And then out came a big case of makeup, a big bag of hair products and perfume, a bunch of crazy outfits for wacky dress up nights and a bunch of pretty outfits for other nights - all this from the luggage of a kid who is not even remotely a princess in her city life! Then I saw some of her friends unpacking similarly ridiculous items. Everything was unpacked with the seemingly clear understanding among a gaggle of teenage girls that it was all to be shared. That's when I realized that the crazy packing had been planned by committee - each camper agreeing to do her part by bringing an ample supply of "stuff" to share with the group. At this point, these girls have been going to camp together for the last 6 years and their friendships have transcended the summer camp experience. They are life friends that plan all year long for their summer together. The "stuff" they bring is part and parcel of a master plan. I can't lie, I still teased her about the insanity of her packing (which was completely outdone, mind you, by at least one of her bunk mates and probably more) but it was good-natured and light-hearted and based in understanding as well as appreciation of the strength and importance of the bonds of camp friendships. Sometimes the best a mom can do is help find a place for "stuff" rather than dwell on and question the necessity of it all. At the end of the day, all I really want from the summer is that each of my kids has the greatest experience possible and if it takes some makeup, a few cute tops and 9 pairs of shoes to do it, then I can show my support by taking a hammer out of my bag (true story: I brought a hammer and nails!) and start giving her some extra hooks and shelving.

In the early days of this blog, I read and loved Mary Roach's Packing for Mars, which I heartily endorse once again. Mary Roach has a unique way of making science hysterically funny and readable. This is a quick read that happens to be one of my favorite non-fiction adult books.

The post also brings to mind a fun children's picture book that was a Kindergarten - Second Grade Book of the Year finalist for the Children's Choice Book Awards in 2009. Check out Sort it Out! by Barbara Mariconda, illustrated by Sherry Rogers. Just a hint - the main character is Packy the Packrat and his mother has had enough!

Tearful goodbyes

2011-06-27T06:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we said our goodbyes to two of our daughters who will spend the next couple of months at sleepaway camp. We will visit them for one day in the middle of the session but, other than that, we rely on communication by letters (both email and snail mail these days) to stay in touch. Jeff and I grew up going to sleepaway camp, which, for each of us, was a formative, maybe even transformative, and positive experience. When our kids let us know, several years ago already, that they wanted to go to sleepaway camp, we knew that we'd miss them terribly and it would be difficult for us but we also knew we would not deny them this experience if that's what they wanted. So, over the last few days, I experienced what's become my annual anxiety, sadness, crankiness and craziness over the packing and the goodbyes. Saying goodbye to our kids when they assert their independence and go off to camp remains very difficult for me. For the first time, though, I held myself together and didn't cry.

One of our daughters has opted out of the sleepaway camp experience, preferring to do her own thing at a visual and performing arts day camp and sleep in her own bed every night. She started camp this morning. I took her to the bus where we exchanged our goodbyes until later and started to make my way to work. That's when the tears came. I wonder if they waited until each of our daughters got her summer underway. I think they were a mixture of sadness over the goodbyes and relief that everyone seemed to be doing what she wanted to be doing and maybe a little anxiety over not yet being 100% sure that each would be happy as can be with her choice. What can I say? For some of us, goodbyes just aren't easy and every goodbye packs a great deal of emotion and meaning. I'm grateful that I will get a first hand report from one daughter tonight so I'll know exactly how things are going for her. As for the other two, I'll have to wait for the letters. Thankfully, when they write, our kids write awesome letters. And there's something to be said for that kind of thoughtful, written communication.

Apologies to my friend Evelyn who, I know, was hoping and expecting that this post would be about the insane amount of "stuff" our daughters brought with them to camp this summer. Our oldest daughter packed for herself and the volume is worthy of a post in and of itself. It took us several hours yesterday to find space in her cabin for everything she insisted she needed to bring. More on that another day...

Though I've already blogged about this one, a fun summer read for 1st through 5th graders (yes, the appeal is that broad) is Jarrett Krosoczka's Lunch Lady and The Summer Camp Shakedown, this year's winner of the Children's Choice Book Awards' 3rd-4th Grade Book of the Year. Another fun summer camp-related read is Jennifer and Matt Holm's Camp Babymouse. You can never go wrong with Babymouse or Lunch Lady comics!

Older middle graders and YA readers may want to concentrate on the goodbye theme and pick up a copy of Sarah Dessen's latest work, What Happened to Goodbye.

Meeting the friends

2011-06-22T17:34:00.000-07:00

Last night, one of our daughters had a few school friends sleep over. The girls who came over were all new friends who our daughter only met this year so I didn't know them very well. It was important to our daughter that I get to know her new friends a little better so she asked me to make sure I'd be around to chat with them a bit. I confided to my colleagues at the office that I felt like I was being set up just a little because it's difficult to draw that line between being the parent who is engaged and engaging and the parent who wears out her welcome and mortifies her teenagers. My colleagues were exceptionally reassuring and I left work yesterday feeling up to the task. I prepared myself for the challenge ahead so much that I almost didn't know what to do with myself when I realized that there was no challenge at all. I realized that as long as you pay attention to your teenager, you can read their cues. I knew exactly when it was ok to enter a conversation and when it was time to exit. I'm not sure why the cues were so sharp and clear but I think it had a lot to do with the group assembled. It was a group of bright, beautiful, fabulous young ladies who exuded intelligence, authenticity, and mutual support. To feel that your child has chosen friends well at such a critical point in their lives is an outstanding sensation. Despite the fact that they yapped until nearly 4 am, which made the dog growl and keep me awake most of the night, I felt happy and peaceful. My daughter has found her people and they're good people. Of course, I also felt exhausted. Now, if only I could decipher the cues relating to those terrifying mood swings...

For girls, friendship is a sacred sisterhood. The latest installment in Ann Brashares' Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series, Sisterhood Everlasting, is now available. The Traveling Pants books (and movies) are well known and loved by today's young adults. Now they have a chance to see how Tibby, Lena, Carmen, and Bridget have grown up and how they come back together.

What I'm Reading Now

2011-06-21T19:03:00.000-07:00

I used to to include a roundup of the books I am currently reading on a weekly basis and then stopped because it seemed a little self-indulgent. Lately, several people have mentioned that they enjoyed reading that section of my blog and hoped I'd resurrect it. Who am I to say no? Especially when there are so many great new books available and it so happens that I'm currently reading a few books that I am loving and excited to share. And here they are:

I can't honestly say "I'm reading" Prudence Wants a Pet, written by Cathleen Daly and illustrated by Stephen Michael King, because I read it this afternoon. It's one of the most delightful picture books to cross my desk in recent memory. My 12 year old daughters are sitting near me as I type this and reading it aloud to one another, delighting in it. Prudence wants a pet so badly that she's willing to consider anything - a branch, a twig, an old shoe, a tire. She's such a good sport! For a while anyway. If you have a 6 year old and a 12 year old, consider asking the 12 year old to read this to the 6 year old and then read Erica Perl's wonderful When Life Gives You OJ, also about a child who is desperate for a pet, on his or her own. Erica's book was selected as one of Amazon's Best Books for June and the honor is well deserved!

I am also currently reading ... wait for it ... The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne M. Valente. Is that not the best title ever?! And though I've just started it, I have a feeling the rest of the book lives up to the awesomely high bar set by the outstanding title. The story makes me think of Alice in Wonderland with a little Peter Pan and a little Wizard of Oz but it's entirely its own unique creation. It's incredibly sophisticated and wickedly funny. I can't help but think it could make the most amazing movie. It's the story of a girl named September who lives in Omaha, Nebraska and has become bored with her life. When the Green Wind asks if she would like to come to Fairyland, September quickly says yes. Thus begins her adventure in the world of Fairyland, ruled by the fickle and childish Marquess. Only September can retrieve a talisman the Marquess wants from the enchanted woods, and if she doesn’t, the Marquess will make life impossible for September's new friends, the inhabitants of Fairyland. This might be a great book for a family with middle grade and older kids to read together. There's nothing childish or babyish about this book. I suspect that at points it will probably get a little dark. It's one of those fully immersible reading experiences.I'd like to wrap up this blog post quickly just so I can go read some more!

Finally, I am also reading The Tiger's Wife by Tea Obreht, not to be confused with Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua. The Tiger's Wife is set in a war ravaged Balkan country and is the story of Natalia, a young doctor, who embarks on a mission of mercy to vaccinate children at an orphanage.At the beginning of her journey, she learns of the death of her grandfather and a veil of secrets. As she tries to unravel some of the mystery surrounding his death, she remembers the old stories her told her as a child and learns the story he never told her, the one that helps her uncover the answers she searching for. It's a beautifully written book, a compelling story and a meaningful tribute to Rudyard Kipling’s The Jungle Book, a worn copy of which the grandfather carried with him everywhere and read to Natalia from on their weekly trips to the zoo when she was younger.

What are you reading?

Have a mice day!

2011-06-20T17:26:00.000-07:00

Our kids finished school over a week ago. One is taking a drama intensive at her school so she is gone all day. The other two are home. They both worked hard at school all year long and they start camp next week so they've dedicated the "intersession" to watching full seasons of television shows. They sit like the futuristic blobs from the movie Wall-E all day long - one on an old lounge chair she pulled out of storage and the other on a chair or couch and they move for food and bathroom breaks but that's about it. They are glued to the tube. To make sure they get a little fresh air and physical activity every day, they've agreed to take the dog out for walks. Today's walk was cut short by a mouse sighting - a ginormous mouse; maybe even a rat, a dead one. The girls let me know they came upon it, turned around and scurried back home. Then one of them let me know it was my fault. "It's Mama's Fault" is a regular game in our home - I only enjoy it because, most of the time, I get blamed for things that couldn't possibly be my fault, like leaving the toilet seat up. Here I was being blamed for a humongous dead rodent on the corner across the street from our home. So here's the funniest part - it kinda was my fault! I took the dog out for a walk early this morning, saw the dead critter, felt sickened by the sight and intended to warn my kids and husband it was there so everyone could avoid the gruesome corner at all cost. I forgot.

In honor of our newest neighbor, today's book pick is Marie LeTourneau and Danielle Reed Baty's The Mice of Bistrot des Sept Freres. I love the illustrations and French glossary in this book about a family of French mouse chefs and their cheese soup with its secret ingredient so much that I think I might even try the recipe! Oh la la!

Dads

2011-06-19T17:57:00.000-07:00

Today is Father's Day. I was lucky enough to spend the day with both my dad and my husband/the father of my children (not to mention my mom and my daughters). There's no way around it - dads and granddads are very special and deserving of a special day. Here's hoping that all of the dads we know enjoyed a fabulous day and had a chance to feel the love. And a special shout out to my father in law who celebrated both a birthday and Father's Day this weekend.

My childhood memories are filled with laughter, largely because of my dad and his awesome sense of humor. He can still bring me to tears laughing, with almost no effort at all. One of our daughters, who happens to be a natural comedienne, credits him with her funny. As I recall, my dad was more than funny - he was great fun. He was up for anything and always had a wacky hat and a song or two to match the occasion. He has always been extremely musical, to the point where he can play anything at all on the piano even though he's never taken a lesson. One of our daughters is a talented pianist and I suspect credit is due him on that count too. Above all, I am exceedingly fortunate that my childhood memories are filled with happy times of a family together and credit here goes to both my mom and dad for the haven they created. Though he has always worked exceptionally hard, my dad always made time to be with his family and, as far as my brothers and I were concerned, he was always very present. I've learned a great deal about family from my father and I love him very much. Happy Father's Dad!

At the risk of irking my younger brother Eric, who has voiced objections to his under representation in this blog in the past, my older brother's name is Mitchell and today's book pick is all him. Hallie Durand's Mitchell's License, illustrated by Tony Fucile, is a perfect before-bed book for a child who hates bedtime and a parent or caregiver who is prepared to act as that child's car, all the way to the finish line. The fact that the not-quite-4 year old is named Mitchell couldn't possibly be a coincidence because I can totally imagine my dad as the car and my Mitchell as the driver, pedal to the metal and all. Mitchell in the book is rambunctious and clever and just a little out of control. Ahhhhh... memories!

Doing it all

2011-06-16T07:15:00.000-07:00

New York City cabs have small televisions facing passengers to entertain and/or inform you during your ride. You can catch up on your news, weather and gossip or you can opt out. I usually opt out and press the off button as quickly as I can. This morning, though, I took a cab to work and, for some reason, forgot to press the off button. The little TV came to life and there was supermodel Heidi Klum asking passengers, "Do you ever wonder how I do it all?" I don't. I never have and can't imagine that I ever would. First of all, I'm too busy trying to do everything I've set out to do and there just isn't time in my daily schedule to wonder how a gorgeous supermodel fits it all in. Second, if I did take the time to wonder, I imagine I would focus only on her good lucks and fabulous figure and not even give her due credit for the "all" that she does. Jealousy directed at a supermodel will help me accomplish nothing but may well slow me down and prevent me from accomplishing my own tasks and goals as I wallow in self-pity. Finally, what does she really mean by "all" and how are we to judge if she indeed does "it all"? Heidi Klum's opening question turns out to be a promo for her new website, which gives beauty and fashion advice. Maybe if I follow her, I'll be able to attack my daily "to do" list with a perfect smoky eye or just the right color lipstick. I took a look at the website and learned it will soon provide parenting and lifestyle advice too. Though I am quite certain the lifestyle she's adopted is vastly different from my own (and one I would probably covet), I will hold back (a little) on the sarcasm. In fairness, she's a beautiful woman with several young kids and an incredibly successful career. I begrudge her nothing and appreciate that she may well be a role model to many young moms. I don't mean to be hating on her at all, just enjoying a little laugh at the expense of her latest enterprise, which, let's face it, will likely make her even more money than she has now and it's not too difficult to guess who has the last laugh. So, why am I sharing? I guess it was just a bizarre way to start off another busy day and I wanted to vent. I guess it's also because I think most moms "do it all" but are too busy doing it to talk about it and those are the moms who have my utmost respect and admiration. I hope those moms also have the respect and admiration of their kids but that is really a sign of my delirious exhaustion because most people couldn't possibly (and don't fully) appreciate all that a parent does until they become parents themselves.

The story of Nazia as told by Amjed Qamar in Beneath My Mother's Feet is quite the exception. Nazia, a 14 year old girl growing up in Karachi Pakistan, is depicted as the ever dutiful daughter who recognizes all that her mother does for her. When her father is unable to work, she leaves school and joins her mother cleaning houses to help her family get by. She seems acutely aware of the sacrifices her mother has made for her and the sacrifices she is making for her family. She comes to learn and appreciate that her mother's sacrifices have been about more than enabling her children to survive - and really about wanting the very best life possible for her daughter. This story considers family loyalty, the mother-daughter relationship, the issue of arranged marriages, the limited of educational opportunities for girls in Pakistan.

Backwards Day

2011-06-15T07:05:00.000-07:00

When you have a newborn, there's a lot of focus on creating and maintaining a schedule. It makes life smoother for all involved. Candidly, it also gives new parents a built-in excuse to turn down invitations or excuse themselves early from events; all in the name of the sacred schedule. When kids get a little older, though, juggling the schedule becomes a parental rite of passage. Depending on how many interests your child believes he or she wants to passionately explore and how much energy you have, the schedule can get more and more out of control. Most of us do what we can to give the appearance of having things under control but we're generally just a step or two away from a cliff. While I've always tried to keep my kids' activities and schedules reasonably straight, I certainly do not feel restricted by their extra-curricular schedules any more. These days, it's more fun to shake things up a little. I have no doubt that when my kids have kids of their own who ask them to tell stories about their own childhood, the time we went out and decided to have dessert for dinner followed by dinner for dessert is one of the stories that will always make the cut. Maintaining a schedule is important when you have babies but spontaneity is important when you have kids. As for me, I'll never forget the time my brothers and I woke up one rainy December morning at the start of that year's December break when my parents told us to pack our bags because we were going to New York City,

In honor of our memorable backwards meal, today's book of choice is Tell Me The Day Backwards by Albert Lamb, illustrated by David McPhail. At bedtime, the little bear asks his mom to tell him what they did that day, in reverse. The story is precious and the illustrations are heartwarming - and the concept is contagious! Try it with your own kids, of any age!

Happy Birthday Monkey Boy

2011-06-14T07:01:00.000-07:00

The animal kingdom has a funny way of taking over when we're looking for the most apt descriptions of human beings. There's the mother bear, the tiger mom, the catty girl, the sweet little kitten, the silly goose, the slug, the dinosaur, the monkey, the beast and so many more. I have no doubt that you conjured up images of your own as you read each of my examples - images of people you know; maybe even yourself. Animal behavior has always been key to understanding and describing humans. Last night, after work, I took my daughters shopping for camp. They were all over the place in every store, like monkeys. They were enthused and energetic and, after a day of work, I was somewhere between a slug and Oscar the Grouch. I was ready for feeding time or nap time but my little monkeys were happily swinging from tree to tree to tree. Needless to say, shopping with three girls cost me a lot of bananas!

One of my favorite children's book authors broke onto the scene 10 years ago this week, speaking to the monkey in each of us (and particularly in our children right around bedtime). Jarrett J. Krosoczka, who you've read about before in this blog, saw his first book, Good Night, Monkey Boy, published 10 years ago on June 12. I am a big fan of Jarrett's both because of his incredible talent and because of his authenticity and goodness as a human being. Jarrett honored his 10 year anniversary in a blog post of his own that I urge you to read. Just click here and experience Jarrett's joy at having his first book published as well as his raising awareness of the impact he could, would and does have on others. Good Night, Monkey Boy is a treat to read at bedtime, naptime or anytime. Congratulations Jarrett!

The powerful message in a mistake

2011-06-13T08:03:00.000-07:00

In a heart to heart conversation with one of my daughters this weekend, she apologized in case she ever negatively impacts my self esteem. She seems to understand that I put a lot into my mothering, frequently feel unappreciated and tend to be hard on myself when I feel like I've made the wrong call. My kids are exceptionally good at pointing out when I've made a wrong call. Not having completely shed the dramatic tendencies of my own girlhood, I will admit that sometimes when my kids misbehave, I will cry, "Where did I go wrong? I am failure as a mother!" I deeply appreciate that someone has been listening and wondering if this means that she's making me feel bad about myself. She isn't. I took the opportunity to remind her that no one but you can affect your own self esteem. Each one of us has the inner power to rise above anything that's said or done to us. Believing in ourselves is a huge and non-transferable responsibility. It's what helps us set and stay our course. I have great kids and, as a result, find it pretty easy to believe that I am a reasonably good mom. That's what the evidence seems to suggest and I'll take it! That doesn't mean I consider parenting easy and certainly doesn't mean my own parenting is never flawed. It does means I believe in myself sufficiently to make tough decisions when it comes to my kids and to make the inevitable mistakes along the way. And that's the part of the message that I most want to convey to my children - mistakes are good because allowing yourself to make mistakes says a lot about who you are and requires that you believe in yourself to some extent; learning from your mistakes is even better.

My two favorite self-esteem-related books for young people are I'm Gonna Like Me: Letting Off a Little Self-Esteem by Jamie Lee Curtis and Laura Cornell, for the younger set, and Katherine Paterson's Bridge to Terabithia for middle graders. The takeaway from each: like yourself because you are you and you are more extraordinary than you might think. The bonus benefit - one is an upbeat and colorful picture book that's fun to quote and the other is one of the best stories ever told!

Peak Performance

2011-06-09T08:06:00.000-07:00

When one of my daughters was in first grade, she had a crush on a boy in her class. She had great taste - he was the sweetest boy who also happened to be the smartest and cutest boy in the class. She was not the only one crushing on him. I remember laughing about his "in demand" status with his mom who thought it was all very adorable but admitted she was concerned he might be peaking too early. I dismissed the possibility at the time but have thought about it recently. Kids today do accomplish so much when they're young; could some of them be peaking too early and, if so, what does that mean?

I used to know a woman that I revered as a child. She was a world traveler who was interesting, charming, funny, eclectic and energetic. She had three kids and poured every ounce of herself into them when they were very young and, through it all, remained an interesting, charming, funny, eclectic and energetic woman who continued to travel the globe. And then she wasn't and she didn't. I don't know if baggage from her own youth caught up with her and took over or if she just peaked early, exhausted herself and then never recovered. No matter how you look at it, the result was tragic. I will grant you that it would have been far more tragic if she had indeed peaked as a child and never accomplished the many things she did. But I don't actually believe that children can peak too early. Frankly, I'm just not that pessimistic. I think children possess boundless potential and there's always more they can do, explore and experience. However, I can't help but wonder if there is a point of peakness later on, after which you peak no more. I'd like to believe that though individual experiences end, there's always something more out there. If you're engaged in an experience that has ceased to bring you joy and satisfaction, maybe it's time to seek out a new adventure so you can peak anew. And don't forget to find some time to rest along the way - conserve some of your energy for the peaking that has yet to happen.

All this peak talk has me thinking about mountains and mountains make think of Grace Lin's Where the Mountain Meets the Moon. This book is perfect for middle graders, particularly those with an interest in life and culture beyond their own experience. Minli's quest to find the Old Man in the Moon who holds the book of fortune is empowering as it is the tale of a young girl who takes it upon herself to improve her family's situation. It is also incredibly enchanting and entertaining with its beautiful storytelling that incorporates Chinese folktales, in an of themselves some of the most wonder4ful stories ever told.

Who's the boss?

2011-06-08T08:42:00.000-07:00

Some time ago, I addressed the issue of working-outside-the-home moms vs. stay-at-home moms. I shared my distaste for the the phrase "full time mom", which continues to make me bristle each time I hear or read it because it seems to be applied only to stay-at-home moms. This happens more frequently than you might think. Any mom worth anything is a full-time mom and when it's applied to moms who stay at home, those of us who work outside of the home get understandably (I think) defensive. While I hate the phrase, I love the fact that many women have a choice. With that choice, though, comes a responsibility to our children. Just as we should not be judging one another's choices, we should be teaching our children not to judge either. From toddlerhood on, most parents and schools are all over kids about being accepting of one another's differences - but what about when it comes to moms?

A few days ago, I was shocked to hear about a teenage girl disparaging someone else's mom who works as a store manager*. When we're teaching our kids respect and acceptance, we should be broadening the scope of those lessons. The messages we convey to our kids - through our words and our behavior - deserve careful thought and consideration. Why is it that so many people feel comfortable rushing to judgment about others? Could it be that we are feeding off our own insecurities and then passing them onto our kids? Time to end the cycle.

*Just a point of clarification here - the young person in question seemed to be looking down on the woman's profession. This may not have been the best example to illustrate the point. I have overheard kids disparaging moms who don't work and moms who do. This just happened to be an example of taking the criticism to the next level so I found it interesting and disconcerting.

In reality, every mom is a full time mom and a working mom. And we all work hard and deserve more respect (and better pay) than we get. Some of us have one boss and some have several and they're all pretty demanding. There's really only book that sums it up aptly and that's Marla Frazee's The Boss Baby. The baby gets all the executive perks while running his overworked staff of two ragged. Such fun!

Friend Drama

2011-06-07T07:42:00.000-07:00

Details of friend drama are constantly being shared in my household. Sometimes it's amusing, sometimes it's annoying and sometimes it's heart-wrenching. Our kids find no comfort in hearing that this drama is age-appropriate for tween and teenage girls. They care that the drama affects the social balance they seek in their lives and they care when it makes them feel insecure. Or more insecure - because it's the rarest of tween or teen girls who feels tremendously secure. The message that someone might be a real friend even if they're not treating you well at the moment or that even nice girls do mean things are tough messages for kids to swallow. But insecurity can alter one's universe, can't it? For parents, it's often more difficult to accept that even one of our own "nice" kids is capable of making someone else feel bad but we're fools if we don't. The way kids react to friend drama says a lot about them and probably offers some hints for dealing with the situation. While every child is different, I think it's always important to find that balance between insensitivity and hypersensitivity - it sounds obvious but it's not always a clear goal, which may be a mistake. When we tell our children they're being too sensitive, we need to explain what that means. When we tell them to develop a thicker skin, we may be inadvertently pushing them to the other extreme and when they're there, they may well become the perpetrators. At the end of the day, kids need to grow up recognizing they're part of a world that's bigger than them and they need to learn to function cooperatively and collaboratively in the world. To do so successfully, requires a balanced degree of sympathy and even empathy. It's probably safe to say that we all know adults who never learned this lesson all that well - don't we need to do what we can to ensure that our kids do so much better?!

5-10 year-olds will delight in the dramatic antics of friends Bink & Gollie in Kate DiCamillo and Alison McGhee's tales of friendship, illustrated by Tony Fucile. These polar opposite best friends have strong personalities and genuine fondness and loyalty for one another. On a personal note, I love the fact that one is tall and the other is tiny. I was the tall girl growing up and one of my best friends was tiny. The same is true for each of my daughters. We're all convinced that we've chosen these friends and they've chosen us for something far more profound than size but who knows, maybe size is a factor!

For a slightly more sophisticated read, kids 9-14 who are a little tired of human friends may enjoy The Friendship Doll by Kirby Larson. The true story is that in the 1920s, 58 dolls were sent as ambassadors of friendship from the children of Japan to the children of the United States. This is the fictionalized story of one of them, Miss Kanagawa.The Depression-era story follows the doll as she is sent around the country. It is a story about the doll as well as each of the girls whose lives she touches. I love historical fiction that focuses on a little known historical fact or point in time that is given a new life. This tale of global friendship is a winner.

Hack me once shame on me, hack me twice...

2011-06-06T07:59:00.000-07:00

As technology continues to revolutionize our world, the associated vocabulary continues to expand. Hacking used to relate to coughing or chopping something with an axe or cleaver. It now means gaining access to a computer and viewing, copying, or creating data, generally without the intention of destroying data or maliciously harming the computer (the malicious side of things, per Urban Dictionary, is called "cracking") At some point, "hacking" morphed into the kind of high tech covert operation often featured on today's hottest crime shows. Now it's something more basic and, in many ways, more dangerous because it is more accessible. Kids often hack each other's social networks and alter the status message or send out phony messages in each other's names. Sometimes the hacked message is funny but many are inappropriate and others are downright mean. It's become the kind of slippery slope where you can literally see innocent intentions turn bad and friends turn to frenemies and then full scale enemies right before your eyes. This is one more issue responsible parents should be talking about with their kids before giving the green light to network socially and then again during and then again and again and again. If each one of us can convince our kids that hacking, even when it begins for fun, is wrong, then maybe the malignant side will be exposed more quickly and dealt with. As long as the majority of social networking kids view hacking a Facebook status as a funny thing to do, the slope will get slicker and people will get hurt.

Over the weekend, I enjoyed reading Ruby Red by Kirsten Gier. This international bestseller is a great choice for kids in 6th or 7th grade and up. There's a mystery, a lot of suspense, time travel, some historical highlights that are well placed within the time travel, realistic teenage friendship issues, angst, and romance. The link here to hacking? Well, the Guardians are tinkering with and manipulating a chronograph to control the time travel of the chosen few and it would seem that not all of the tinkering is so innocent. This is the first book in a trilogy and my only complaint with it is that I now have to wait for the second and third books to find out what really happens and what stories lie beneath the main one (because it's clear that there's a lot going on here and many details have yet to present themselves). I love the characters, not to mention the cover and the title!

The final crunch

2011-06-03T07:09:00.000-07:00

One of my daughters told me last night that she needed my help with her homework. Only, not in the traditional way. Specifically, she needed me to help minimize distractions so she could study for her final exams. She wasn't asking me to keep her sisters quiet. Rather, she was asking me to keep an eye on her and make sure she wasn't drifting over to check Facebook or one of the blogs she follows, like Cupcakes and Cashmere (lest you think it was this blog luring her away). Throughout the school year she had all kinds of safeguards on her computer that would prevent her from checking in with her online world until homework was done. With the imminence of final exams, though, this was no longer enough to keep her in check. She needed me. On the one hand, I rejoiced in the fact that my assistance was being sought. It doesn't happen as much as it used to and, like most of us, I like feeling needed. On the other hand, I knew I was being set up and so did she. She acknowledged it. She told me she would get mad at me each time I reminded her to focus but that I needed to accept that this was just the way it would have to be and that deep down (and certainly by the end of next week) she'd be grateful. I'm not sure it's manipulation or even sabotage when all the cards are laid out on the table and everyone knows what they're getting into. We tried it for a little while and, as you can imagine, it didn't last too long. I have a fairly thick skin when it comes to my kids but I do have a breaking point and there's only so much scowling and growling I'm willing to take in one night. I suspect there will be more of this ridiculousness in place over the weekend so I thought it might be good to pace myself and her.

Learning how to study and developing awareness of yourself as a learner are important parts of growing up and critical to genuine scholarly development. Every once in a while, one of our daughters has a test to study for and Jeff and I try to suggest studying techniques. What works for one of us, though, may not work for someone else. I always find it useful to write things down and then read them aloud. Jeff has always been a pacer and, even now, when he prepares professionally (he is an attorney), he paces until he achieves the optimum level of comfort and conviction with his presentation. Some people work best in groups. Some people study with music. I think it's important to make our kids aware of the choices but then we have to let them choose whatever it is that works best for them. As long as they're flexible if it turns out not to work. And as long as they're not insisting on studying in front of the television. And as long as they're not lying down. And as long as the lights are on.

School is about more than test taking. It's about learning to learn, learning to participate in a collaborative society, learning to socialize respectfully, learning to make and deal with friends and learning about rules. How about the book Rules by Cynthia Lord? Twelve-year old Catherine has an eight-year old autistic brother from who she creates rules, so he can understand how the world works. At times she is mortified by him and at times she is fiercely protective and at all times, she does a great deal of learning and growing herself and how the world really works.

Girls Who Wear Glasses

2011-06-02T06:30:00.000-07:00

Some people look great in glasses. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them. Never have been. I don't look particularly good in hats either but that's a story for another day. I'll never forget the day in 5th grade when my math teacher suggested I get my eyes checked because I was having trouble seeing the board from the back of the classroom. I remember testing my eyesight wherever I could in the days leading up to my checkup. I vividly remember the checkup, particularly the part when my eye doctor glanced at my mom and subtly nodded, at which point I burst into tears. I already had braces and acne and I was very tall for my age and up until that moment, didn't think life could get any worse! It did but then it got better. Eventually, it got a lot better. When I think back to those days, it gives me conviction and credibility when I assure my kids that no matter what's gnawing at them, it really does get better.

Among the measures that saved me were contact lenses. To this day, I can't imagine my life without them. But now I'm in my forties (well into my forties) and one of the things that starts happening is that, much like the rest of you, your eyes start to dry up. I am eternally indebted to the person who invented eye drops! Another thing that happens is that you start having trouble seeing things up close. And this one stinks because the only solution for this problem is GLASSES! Yes, I have entered the reading glasses phase of my life and I'm not entirely comfortable there yet. For the past several years, my eye doctor's first question at my annual eye checkup has been "how are you doing with reading?" Just fine, thank you. But not really. At least not anymore. After a year of asking one of my daughters to read menus to me at restaurants and squinting to the point of nearly shutting my eyes when I read, I stopped by the corner drugstore and quietly bought a pair of reading glasses. It took me back a million years to the first time I went shopping for glasses, which now that I think about it, affected me much the same way as shopping for bathing suits does - tears and ice cream, that's all I'm saying! I have to admit, though, that it's nice to know what you're ordering when you go out to dinner and a good story is a whole lot better if there's no physical pain to the reader (not to mention wrinkles; yet another story for another day). Still, I wasn't ready to go public with my new not-so-spectacular look until I was about to take the stage to give closing remarks at the 2011 Children's Choice Book Awards gala on May 2 and I realized that my vanity was less important than correctly reading the names of the many outstanding children's book authors and illustrators who joined us that night - people like Jarrett Krosoczka, Jon Scieszka, Katherine Paterson, Rick Riordan, Jeff Kinney, Laurie Halse Anderson, Suzanne Collins, Walter Dean Myers, R.L. Stine, Rebecca Stead, Holly Black, Cassandra Clare and many, many more. There are now photographs of me from that night, sporting my reading glasses, on the Internet. There's no going back now. That's okay, it's easier to participate in a world that you see clearly!

There are many books for young kids who wear glasses and while it would be easy to send you in that direction with a book recommendation, that's not what I intend to do. If you're looking for that type of book for an early elementary school age kid, try the Charlie and Lola book bu Lauren Child on the subject (I Really Absolutely Must Have Glasses). Here, though, I want to let you know about a fantasy novel for middle graders called Enchanted Glass by Diana Wynne Jone. This talented author sadly passed away at the end of March but left behind quite a legacy in the way of a treasure trove of wonderfully written books for children. This one has magic, an enchanted house, humor, fabulous and quirky characters and a great story. It has nothing whatsoever to do with glasses but it has the word "glass" in the title and like all good stories, it's a way of "seeing" and experiencing life

That's Good, That's Bad

2011-06-01T08:43:00.000-07:00

My parenting self-check results fall along a spectrum. At one end, I get a little excessively self-congratulatory when I feel like I've had a great mommy moment. Those are the moments when you turn a situation with your kids into a teaching moment to which they seem to be tremendously receptive. Both the reception and the lesson eventually fade leaving you to wonder if anyone is actually listening. Ever. At the other end of the spectrum, I tend to be disproportionately hard on myself when I feel as though I've flubbed a situation or missed a teachable moment with my kids. Most of the time, I fall somewhere in between. I think it's good to set high parenting expectations of yourself but I also believe that nobody has yet to perfect parenting and it would be arrogant for any of us to think we're the ones to do it. We all make mistakes - we can hope that we don't make too many, that we learn from those we make and that those we make don't ruin our kids forever.

So, last week, I was guilty of a parenting gaff that, ironically, derived from a moment when I felt deserving of a parenting award. I talk to our kids frequently about the pressures and choices on the road ahead. I long ago told our daughters that they should feel free to blame things on me when they feel stuck in a situation and don't want to do something. I meant with friends. I was talking about peer pressure. I don't need to be cool to or even liked by their friends but I do need to be there for our girls so if using me as a scapegoat in sticky situations could be helpful, I was and remain all for it. But last week, after my daughter's school concert, she let me know that she had told her band teacher that she would not be continuing with band next year because her mother didn't want her to. What?! Of course she told me this just as the band teacher was approaching and (here comes the bad mommy moment) as I said hello to him, I fervently denied ever prohibiting her from participating in band next year. Our daughter was mortified. Actually, she was furious. She glared at me and said, "But you told us we could always blame things on you!". Hmmmmmmmm... not what I meant! To her credit, she allowed me both to apologize and explain. I really was sorry that I had embarrassed her and I hadn't meant to (as a rule, I believe embarrassing your kids is a parental prerogative and perk but only when you mean to do it). I explained that I actually made the offer to scapegoat myself for situations with friends and that in this particular case, the story she gave the teacher was so absurd that it wasn't believable anyhow. My explanations were, admittedly, a little on the weak side but I happen to have a great kid who quickly forgave me nonetheless and let me know that in the future I should just be clear about the scope of my offers. I could have and should have handled things a little differently. After all, don't we tell our kids to take a moment and think before opening their mouths? I leave it to you to decide for yourself how bad it was to have embarrassed a child in front of her teacher.

Somehow this scenario reminds me of a book I used to read to my kids when they were little that would crack us all up. Margery Cuyler's That's Good, That's Bad was a family favorite. I now have the pleasure of knowing Margery personally and think the world of her. The book (actually, there are a few of them, with varied themes) turns the concepts of "good" and "bad", not to mention "terror" and "relief" on their heads. Sometimes something seems good, then takes a turn for the bad and, surprisingly, turns back into good - hmmmmmm... sounds a lot like some of my parenting decisions!

Wonderstruck!

2011-05-31T07:17:00.000-07:00

As Memorial Day weekend wraps up, we head into the final days of the school year and the beginning of my somewhat quieter period at work. It's a time of reflection and, ultimately, regrouping. I'm very excited about the phase ahead, mostly because the phase that is coming to an end has been particularly strong. It has been a busy and productive time in many ways but, as those of you who are parents can surely understand, my greatest highs and lows are generally tied to the highs and lows of my kids. All three of our daughters have had fabulous years academically and socially and they are each in an emotionally strong and healthy place. That's no small statement and not something to be taken for granted. It's actually deserving of a big "WOO-HOO" but I think I'd ruin the mood around here if I shouted it out the way I'd really like. Instead, I will quietly celebrate the wonder of kids.

Merriam-Webster.com defines "wonder" as "rapt attention or astonishment at something awesomely mysterious or new to one's experience". I am constantly struck by the mystery and newness of experiences with our daughters. I am endlessly challenged to find best practices for dealing with those mysteries - mysteries that are at once new to each one of us within our own experiences and yet shared by parents through the ages. Indeed, I am wonderstruck! Newness can be terrifyingly challenging and, at the same time, exhilarating.

On an unrelated (yet, given the nature of this blog, quite obviously related) note, the newest thing I have seen or experienced in the world of children's books lately is Brian Selznick's Wonderstruck. Two stories are told on parallel planes in this book - one set in 1927 and told through illustration and the other set in 1977 and told through text. The two stories seamlessly intertwine and merge in both illustration and text at the end, to the reader's delight. The illustrations are awe-inspiring on their own (and at a breakfast during Book Expo America last week, Brian described his creative process and showed a room plastered in the illustrations that would become this book). But it's the transition between illustration and text that makes this book so unique and powerful - and the amazing detail. On top of everything else, Brian is a masterful storyteller - this is ultimately a mystery novel that's perfect for middle graders. It is also a warm and wonderful tribute to New York City. Curiously, some of the characters in this story are deaf and, as a reader, I found my own senses of sight and comprehension heightened while I experienced this book.

His name was Mr. Scott

2011-05-22T20:22:00.000-07:00

My 9th grade English teacher told me I was good writer and could be a great writer and I believed him and, ultimately, in myself. He encouraged me to enter writing contests and to dream big. When a teacher genuinely believes in you as a student, sees your potential and helps you reach and maybe even exceed it and, above all, helps you believe in yourself (no small feat if you happen to be a teenager at the time!), that is a great gift. Those are the teachers who teach so much more than they've included in a curriculum or syllabus.

As parents, we, of course, want only teachers like that for our children. Sometimes we forget that it really only takes a few phenomenal teachers to rock your academic potential. Jeff and I feel very fortunate because each of our daughters has more than one such teacher this year. One of our daughters has a history teacher who called us early in the school year because he was so excited about something she had written that he wanted to make sure she read it aloud to us. She also has a public speaking teacher who had her participate in a model congress last week where she discovered her voice and confidence. One of her sisters has a drama teacher who recognized genius when our daughter performed a monologue as the Easter Bunny (declaring her the cutest Easter Bunny ever - so true!) and encouraged her to participate in the school play and enroll in a drama intensive when school breaks, before camp starts. In an earlier post I wrote about this daughter's English teacher who assigned a book project on historical fiction and then allowed our daughter to convince her that Rick Riordan's The Lost Hero qualified as historical fiction for the purpose of the assignment because she wanted to encourage our daughter's excitement about readng the book. One of our daughters has a Mandarin Chinese teacher who, in less than a year, has taught her to think in Chinese and fall in love with the language and culture it represents; she has a history teacher who is teaching what seems to me to be a college level survey class and who has sparked a determination to excel that blows me away; and she has a piano teacher, with whom she has worked for several years now, who has enriched her life with music, support and a meaningful connection. As the school year quickly comes to a close, it's time to reflect on the gifts those great teachers have bestowed on our kids and how lucky we all are.

Today's book-pick is my choice for the the 2012 Newbery Medal. The Newbery is awarded to the year's most distinguished contribution to American literature for children. The medal is presented by the Association for Library Service to Children, a division of the American Library Association. Of course, I have nothing whatsoever to do with selecting the Newbery winner but if I did, I have to believe this would be it! The book is Gary Schmidt's Okay For Now and it is one of the 4 best books I have read this year (children and adult books, included)). The protagonist was a friend of the protagonist in Schmidt's earlier novel, The Wednesday Wars, which was a 2008 Newbery Honor book. This book, however, stands on its own. I can say this with certainty because, I will admit, I never read The Wednesday Wars and I absolutely loved this book (needless to say, I now fully intend to go back and read The Wednesday Wars and Lizzie Bright and everything else Gary Schmidt has written). Okay For Now is the tragic but hopeful story of a skinny eighth grade thug-in-the-making named Doug Swieteck. His dad is an abusive alcoholic and his brother seems to be heading in that same direction. The people of the New York town where they move at the beginning of the book quickly size up Doug's brother as a criminal and Doug's teachers seem to have it in for him, strictly by associating him with his brother. This book covers more issues and topics that I'd have ever thought possible in a single book and yet does so seamlessly and remarkably. As mentioned, there's abuse and alcohol; there's also art, Vietnam. Broadway, illiteracy, friendship, illness, perseverance and teachers who make a difference. After receiving nothing but scowls and a frosty reception from every other teacher at his new school, Doug meets Mr. Ferris, the science teacher, who tells him "in this class, you are not your brother". I cried and cheered all at the same time. This teacher and Mr. Powell, the amazing librarian, saw Doug more clearly than he saw himself and invested themselves in his success.

I think that in addition to the amazing storytelling and the spellbinding story, I loved the fact that it was set in 1968 because I was born in 1966 so the temporal references really struck a chord. I also loved the fact that the author subtly takes the reader on an amazing journey through great children's literature, offering enough hints but not divulging titles so you can play a great guessing game of the books Doug reads to the kids he babysits. I love the amazing amount of detail and the crazy rides I went on as a reader following new paths in the story and I admired the way it all came together. SO WELL DONE!!

When books are published for young people, publishers are encouraged by retailers to identify the age group for whom the book is most appropriate. Publishers would prefer to keep the age recommendation as broad as possible but, at the retail level, it's easier to sell a book that defines its potential customer. I provide this background so that when you note that this book is recommended for children ages 10-14, you'll know to ignore this "guideline". I think 10 years old sounds like a great starting point but I think it's a book that's like those games for people ages 9-99. I firmly believe this one will be enjoyed by older teens and by grownups too. LOVE IT!!

Run run run run... run away

2011-05-19T19:53:00.000-07:00

I remember the day I ran away. I must have been about 7 and though I can't recall the injustice that set the wheels in motion, I do recall that it was grave enough to send me on my way. I remember packing a bunch of stuffed animals in a garbage bag and then sitting in the driveway of my home, by the garage, and waiting. That was my runaway spot (I was not a big risk taker as a kid!). I think I was waiting for that moment when I would hear my parents and brothers shout, "Where is Robin? Have you seen Robin?" and I imagined they'd run outside to look for me and run right by me in a panic. I expected them to find me after a long search, apologize for whatever had happened and that we'd exchange lots of hugs and kisses and eat cookies. The end. But that's so not the way it went down! I never heard any shouting and I never saw any panicked scurrying. Eventually I got bored and tired and hungry and went back inside. And that was really the end. So overrated!

So what is it with kids romanticizing the prospect of running away? Maybe the adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn have something to do with it. I only know that I had not shared my own little story with my kids and was surprised when one of them let me know she has selected a runaway spot. I suspect she has a whole plan in place because when faced with grave injustice, you may be so enraged that you are not be able to think on the spot so having a plan is helpful. I've tried to ask some questions and glean some details but all I really know for sure is that a spot has been selected and that it's safe. Safe is good. I haven't been able to shed any light on the appeal of running away. though. I think it might have something to do with the appeal of coming back home.

For a sweet, funny and colorful story about running away, consider Elanna Allen's Itsy Mitsy Runs Away. The grave injustice in Mitzy's life is bedtime. She doesn't want to deal with it anymore so she decides to run away. But Mitzy quite clearly does not have a sound plan in place. Lucky for her, she has a very helpful father. This is a charming picture book that should not be restricted in terms of audience but I think it might be a particularly nice one to be shared by dads and daughters. Hmmmm... maybe a nice Father's Day present.

To your health!

2011-05-18T19:21:00.000-07:00

The 1986 film, Ferris Bueller's Day Off is, arguably, the quintessential, not to mention beloved, statement on faking sick. Ferris told kids precisely how to fake sick. He was a genius and legions of young moviegoers left the theater to see if his charm and savvy had rubbed off on them. One of our daughters rivals Ferris in his faking sick prowess. Except that she doesn't always realize she's faking. And some of the time when we're sure she's faking, we get it completely wrong! I'm ashamed to say that on more than one occasion we've insisted she go to school only to have the school nurse call less than an hour into the school day, letting me know she had a fever and needed to be picked up. The problem is that an embarrassingly high percentage of the time, we let her stay home only to have her suddenly spring back to good health just a few hours later. As you can well imagine, this has lead to repeated boy-who-cried-wolf kinds of lectures.

A few days ago, two of our daughters complained they were sick. One was burning up with a fever and was the very picture of illness. The other... well... you can imagine who that one was. We took both girls to the doctor because they were both complaining of terrible sore throats and since one needed to go, why not take both? They each had strep tests. One clearly needed it and the other, well, not so much. I got the feeling that even the doctor didn't take her complaints seriously. The tests were negative; no strep. The girls came home, took some Tylenol, drank some tea and were told to rest. We agreed that the daughter with the fever would stay home from school the next day and we would just have to see how her sister was feeling. Needless to say, when I woke her up for school, she moaned, "I'm too sick to go to school today". I repeated the boy-who-cried-wolf story, I lectured her, I nagged, I pleaded - but she wouldn't cave. So I did. And wouldn't you know it; at 10:30 a.m. I answered a call from the doctor's office letting me know both girls had strep throat. I was at work when they called so I called home to tell my daughters and she who was not crying wolf after all answered the phone. "Guess who has strep?" I asked. "Who?" she asked back. "You both do," I answered. Silence. "Hey, are you there?" I asked. "Yes," she replied. "You got quiet. What were you doing?" I asked. "Smiling," she said. Sweet smell of vindication!

It's a tough call. Tough and frustrating. How do you know when your child is really sick? Quite honestly, if there's no fever or projectile vomiting, then it's anybody's guess. Parental instincts only get you so far! Maybe the trick is to remember that if your child stays home an extra day or two, it's not the end of the world. Or conversely, if you have to pick your sick child up from school early on account of illness, disaster won't strike.

Sometimes far-fetched kid stories actually turn out to be the truth - at least in kids' books! Consider The Boy Who Cried Ninja by Alex Latimer. Tim's outrageous excuses that turn out to be true would make my daughter proud. You can guess what story this one is based on but you've never heard or read it told quite this way before. This book is actually on display in my office now and every time I look up and see it, I can't help but smile - I don't know if it's just the word "ninja" or if it's the cover that just cracks me up or it's the fact that I know this is a book that would please my sweetheart of a daughter. If you or your child loves ninjas, time-traveling monkeys, sunburnt crocodiles and astronauts – then this is the book for you.

Just say no...to what?

2011-05-17T19:45:00.000-07:00

As parents, one of our primary responsibilities is to arm our children with information, values and good sense so that they are able to deal with whatever life throws at them. Our ability to follow through on this responsibility is compromised when the game changes and we no longer have a clear picture of the risks and dangers involved. This is typically the way I begin a rant against the use of Facebook by kids but today I'm focusing on a different subject. How can we prepare our children for the dangers that lurk ahead in the guise of drugs and alcohol when we don't really know what's out there and what could happen to them? The answer is the same answer to most parenting concerns - we can and must make every effort to be as informed as possible and we need to develop and maintain strong lines of communication with our kids.

The latest "danger" to hit my radar is Four Loko. It is marketed as an alcoholic energy drink that comes in fruity flavors and colorful cans. It mixes caffeine and alcohol and has had terrifying, even fatal effects. The caffeine initially masks the effects of the alcohol leading the drinker to consume more alcohol than they ordinarily might, with disastrous effects. Several states have banned the drink but, not so surprisingly, people have managed to purchase it on ebay and off Craigslist. I realize that I cannot shield my kids from every danger that lurks but I can share what I learn in the hope that informed kids are more likely to make good choices.So we've talked about this poison that masks itself as fun.

My ever-so-helpful oldest daughter walked in earlier this evening to ask the subject of today's post. When I told her, she nodded (knowing that I had only recently learned about this toxic "drug" and the fact that it unnerved me) and asked what book I would tie this post to. She then answered the question for me - "You could recommend the Ellen Hopkins books". Ellen Hopkins had a daughter who became addicted to crystal meth, or "crank." In 2002, her struggle inspired Hopkins to begin writing her debut novel, Crank, to express the horrible influences of drug abuse and addiction. Ellen describes it as an honest portrayal of a "good girl's" fall from grace. She has since written several verse novels on teenage struggles. Take a look at her website and consider reading some of these books with your teenager - you'll both learn a lot!

Friends, friends, friends... we will always be...

2011-05-16T19:10:00.000-07:00

I spent the last two weekends celebrating special events in the lives of the children of dear friends of mine. First, I attended the Bat Mitzvah in Westchester of the daughter of one of my closest friends since I was 5 years old. Then I flew to Montreal to celebrate the Bar Mitzvah of the son of one of my closest friends since I was 12. It would have been easy, in each case, to let my friends know that we just couldn't make it and they would have understood. We're all so busy and caught up in the chaos of our own lives that it's generally easiest to maintain our focus and to politely decline any invitations that cause the schedule to deviate. I am so glad that I didn't take the easy way out! I was so moved by each of the events I attended and so overjoyed to be part of the celebration. When the children of your childhood friends attain adulthood, it's surreal (when it's your own kids, you're just in denial) and so much fun!

One of my favorite parts of each of the weekends was the unmistakable, palpable joy and pride on the faces of people who mean the world to me. I was so happy for them. Another one of my favorite parts of these two weekends was the fact that the importance of these forever friendships was not lost on my daughters. Their own lives are changing every minute and I think they found some comfort in the reminder that some friendships can and do last a lifetime. I think they shared my excitement over the fact that I was able to attend both events and I think they were pleased that I made sure to make the time. It's so important to make sure our kids know that no matter how busy we get, we can and must make time to celebrate the good times with loved ones. If we don't, we run the risk of getting together only when tragedy strikes - and our friendships deserve so much more!

Today's book selection is about two friends and is selected in honor of my lifelong friend Rhona, whose son celebrated his Bar Mitzvah this past weekend in Montreal. Rhona is an exceptionally talented artist, inspiring the selection of David Wiesner's Art & Max. This happens to be the book that earned David the Illustrator of the Year award at the Children's Choice Book Awards two weeks ago. I particularly love that fact since I read one review that questioned whether kids would like this book. Well, more than 500,000 kids voted for their favorites in this year's Children's Choice Book Awards and they made their favorites known. This book is not only spectacularly beautiful, it's also clever and compelling - just like my friend Rhona!

Thank you Jon and Jarrett

2011-05-11T18:59:00.000-07:00

I am very fortunate to have a job that I love. I look forward to going to work every day and to creating programs that encourage children to find the joy in reading. It is very rare for me to have a bad day at the office. Lo and behold, today I had a bad day at the office. The reason for the bad day is not important. The focus, as I always tell one of my younger daughters, should be on the positive you can extract from a negative situation. My silver lining today was woven by the amazing people around me - my brilliant staff and two beloved children's book authors - Jon Scieszka and Jarrett J. Krosoczka. Jon and Jarrett are incredibly talented authors and, in Jarrett's case, artists, who are equally incredible people. They are both very smart and very funny as well as compassionate, kind and community-minded. Jon created Guys Read, a web-based literacy program for boys and as the country's inaugural National Ambassador for Young People's Literature, his platform was "Reaching Reluctant readers". Jarrett is one of the organizers of the MELTDOWN, The River’s Family Music and Book Fest and, as host of the 2011 Children's Choice Book Awards, he reached out to every finalist and every presenter on Twitter and Facebook and helped raise awareness of the program to a whole new level (not surprisingly, his book Lunch Lady and the Summer Camp Shakedown won the award for 3rd-4th Grade Book of the Year). These are two guys who think beyond themselves and give of themselves regularly. We can all learn so much from them both.

By way of thanks to Jon and Jarrett, this post is dedicated to them, with my profound gratitude. Please take time to visit Jon's website and Jarrett's website. Each has created an astounding collection of books for little ones and middle ones. Each can be counted on to make you smile and laugh out loud - no matter how old you are! I'm truly honored to know them both.

All the world's a stage

2011-05-10T19:05:00.000-07:00

I'm constantly amazed by the wealth of opportunities available to our kids. There are more after school activity options and sports leagues than I remember existing when I was younger. Though I'm not one to drown my kids in after school activities, I am a big believer in encouraging them to find activities, interests or hobbies that they can get excited about, connect with and in which they can immerse and invest themselves. For many years, I tried to convince my daughters to get involved in drama but nobody seemed interested. I went to a small school with no drama program when I was younger and realize that I might have romanticized the whole experience I never had but I was convinced that youth theater would be a good thing for our kids. Theater experience would enhance comfort with public speaking; kids could bond with their cast-mates; and the audition process meant taking chances and risking disappointment. Theater could be a testing ground for life - you know, all the world's a stage...

Finally, over the last two weeks, our two younger daughters both performed in their middle school plays. Each loved the experience so much that they're already planning the next audition. I am so proud of them both and thoroughly enjoyed seeing both plays, several times. I am so pleased that they tried and delighted that each saw it through. I can't wait for the next play!

I strongly believe that we need to encourage our children to take chances and to develop interests to which they commit themselves. I grew up in Montreal where all the little boys would go to hockey practice in the wee hours of the morning - when I think of the choices our kids might have made (not to mention those activities they tried and got over), I'm so glad that they've chosen piano, art, swimming, basketball, horseback riding and, now, musical theater. Whatever the interest of each might have been though, I'm just so glad each of our daughters has been willing to take chances and try things out.

A most delightful new book that's right on topic is If I Never Forever Endeavor by Holly Meade.The illustrations are outstanding and when they connect with the simple but meaningful text, they convey the message we all know to be critical: spread your wings and take a chance, see what you can do and where you might go and what that might mean. Endeavor to fly!

All hail the queen!

2011-05-09T20:06:00.000-07:00

As a mother of daughters, I've always considered it important to show my girls that strength and warmth are not mutually exclusive. I think I'd probably consider this an important message to convey to boys too but with girls, it's been somewhat of a mission. Jeff and I were committed to instilling all possibilities and many layers in our children before they were ever born. In fact, our oldest daughter was named, in part, after a strong and beautiful character named Eliane played by Catherine Deneuve in the film Indochine - a film we had seen years before I was pregnant, featuring a character we'll never forget. We wanted our Eliane to be similarly strong and equally soft. Those of you who know our Elie will surely agree that she is a breathtaking blend.

Like many women, I have always been drawn to strong female characters in real life as well as in books and movies. I am currently half way through a book with a strong female character that I am absolutely loving. It's Vicky Alvear Shecter's Cleopatra's Moon, which will be published in August of this year. Our daughter Elie, looking over my shoulder moments ago, objected to my discussing a book that's not yet available but this one is so good, you should put it on your list and make sure you pick it up as soon as it's available.

The story of Cleopatra and Mark Antony is familiar to many but this new twist focuses on their daughter Cleopatra Selene. It's historical fiction with a hefty dose of historical reality. One review I read compared it to the Luxe series and I don't particularly care for that comparison. In fact, comparisons like that and the current cover concern me because they seem to suggest this is a girl book and that really ought not be the case. Fans of the Percy Jackson series should read this. The respect paid to culture, beliefs and the role of the gods will be familiar to them but the story is completely new, incredibly exciting, very well written and totally captivating. This is a YA book recommended for kids 13 and up and it's compelling no matter what your age. I'm enjoying this book so much that I'm planning to follow it up with Stacy Schiff's Cleopatra: A Life because I'm finding myself hooked on the ancient world and these complex and colorful characters and I want to know more. I'm also a sucker for pairing an adult book with a children's/young adult book and this pairing is too good to pass up!

The 92nd Celebration of Children's Book Week Comes to an End...

2011-05-08T19:51:00.000-07:00

Children's Book Week, the longest running national literacy initiative in the country, was celebrated May 2-8, 2011. The two organizations I have the great fortune to lead are the main sponsor and administrator of this week. Every Child a Reader (ECAR) is responsible for the planning and organizing of this week that celebrates children's books and reading and the Children's Book Council (CBC) is the anchor sponsor of the week. Throughout the week, official events were held in more than 25 cities across the country and local celebrations in libraries and schools were held in many more. One of the highlights of the week was a big gala at which the winners of the CBC's Children's Choice Book Awards were announced live. And what a gala it was! The NYC event was hosted by the charming and wonderful Jarrett J. Krosoczka who also turned out to be one of the evening's big winners - for Lunch Lady and the Summer Camp Shakedown, winner of the 3rd-4th Grade Book of the Year. We were really all winners that evening because Jarrett was such a delight and brought so much of himself to the program. Presenters like Hilary Knight, R.L. Stine, Walter Dean Myers, Laurie Halse Anderson, Claire Vanderpool and Erin Stead, all leaders in the world of children's book, bestowed awards on Johanna Kerby (Little Pink Pup), Jarrett (Lunch Lady and the Summer Camp Shakedown), Rick Riordan (The Red Pyramid and The Lost Hero), John Green and David Levithan (Will Grayson, Will Grayson) and David Weisner (Art & Max). Both the current National Ambassador for Young People's Literature, Katherine Paterson, and the former National Ambassador for Young People's Literature, Jon Scieszka, participated in the program and so did LeVar Burton!. Among the amazing authors and illustrators in attendance were Jeff Kinney, Cassandra Clare, Holly Black, Rebecca Stead, Raina Telgemeier, Tad Hills, Wendy Mass, Nick Bruel, Peter Reynolds, Nancy Tillman, Philip Stead, Erica Perl, Margery Cuyler, Casey Scieszka, Steven Weinberg, Katherine Paterson's husband and sometimes co-author John Paterson and more! It was a who's who of children's book creators. And I'm happy to report that a good time was had by all! After a delicious cocktail and dinner reception, attendees were escorted to the theater where the awards presentation was kicked off with an original music video created by the amazing Hewitt School in New York City. The students took attendees on a musical journey about the magic of books and reading and set the tone for the rest of the program. After the awards were presented, host Jarrett Krosozcka and LeVar Burton led attendees in a sing-along of the Reading Rainbow theme song, from the television show that LeVar hosted for 26 years. Attendees were then invited to partake in a delicious dessert reception. Great night, great week - the 93rd celebration of Children's Book Week will be here before you know it.

Tomorrow night I will go back to blogging the way I did before Children's Book Week overtook my life. And have I got a teen/YA book to recommend to you!!

What do teens read?

2011-04-25T19:43:00.000-07:00

The finalists for Teen Choice Book of the Year, the teen component of the Children's Choice Book Awards, are always partially predictable (romances, fantasy, vampires, and dystopia tend to do well) with a small element of surprise (realistic fiction). Every story has a coming of age component but the environment is often what sets the tale apart. The Teen Choice Book of the Year finalists were selected by around 4,000 teenagers who participated in a poll on teenreads.com. If you're dying to see your teenager pick up a book but he or she claims not to have the time and, frankly, isn't interested in your recommendations anyhow, suggest they take a look at this list of peer-recommendations:

Burned (House of Night, Book 7) by P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast - Read the first chapter!

Mockingjay (The Final Book of The Hunger Games) by Suzanne Collins

Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan

Spirit Bound (Vampire Academy, Book 5) by Richelle Mead

Fang (A Maximum Ride Novel) by James Patterson - Read an excerpt!

Happy Reading!

I'd like 3 cups of anything but tea right now!

2011-04-24T18:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,

I am sorry to have been MIA last week. A funny thing happened on my way to my blog... Actually, it wasn't funny at all. Last Sunday night, as many of you know, 60 Minutes aired an expose on Greg Mortenson. Greg is a co-founder of Central Asia Institute, co-author of the bestselling books, Three Cups of Tea and Stones Into Schools and creator of the program Pennies for Peace whereby American children collect pennies, bring them to school and collectively donate them to Central Asia Institute for the development, building and strengthening of schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan. A barrage of unflattering accusations have been hurled at Greg over the last week; claims that the most compelling stories in his books were fabricated, claims that he has mismanaged funds and claims that he has not built all the schools he claims to have built, has not spent the money on them he claimed to have raised for that purpose and that many of those schools that were built are not operating as schools at all. Like so many people, I was deeply saddened and disillusioned by the multitude of claims. I had long ago drunk the kool-aid. Greg Mortenson, as far as I was concerned, was a hero who had energized the masses to think globally and step up to make a difference in the lives of others and, further, to recognize that by bettering someone else's circumstances, we make the world a better place. Greg's mission and vision were based on the belief that education and literacy, particularly of girls, were the most effective tools to bring about global peace. I was such a believer that when someone on my staff suggested some time ago that we honor Greg with the Impact Award at the Children's Choice Book Awards gala, I thought it was the most brilliant idea I had ever heard. When we approached Greg's publisher with our invitation over the summer and Greg accepted, I felt as though I'd won the lottery. Well, the gala is on May 2, just one week away, and Greg Mortenson will not be there. In light of the current accusations and unanswered questions, we agreed it was best to forego the presentation of an Impact Award this year. Our gala will still be a fabulous event that celebrates the children's books that inspire, excite and entertain kids and teens and the talented authors and illustrators that create them. While saddened by the recent developments, we are able to go on, nearly unscathed. But what about the legions of kids who were motivated to break their piggy banks open to participate in Pennies for Peace and what about the children in Pakistan and Afghanistan whose opportunities for education have been jeopardized. Greg Mortenson may or may not have done some bad things but what is incontrovertible is the fact that he raised awareness of a serious and critically important issue and people responded. My hope is that we, as a global community, hold onto the good and do not become so distrustful that it causes us to stop trying to help others. Each and every person really can and should step up and make a difference.

Before leaving you last week, I was working my way toward blogging about each of the finalists for the Children's Choice Books Awards. As you'll recall, voting closes on Friday, April 29. That means it's not too late so if you know kids who haven't voted, please encourage them to visit www.BookWeekOnline.com and vote now! Every vote counts!

In connection with my hope of what will emerge from the Greg Mortenson debacle, I'd like to introduce you to a 6th grader who gets it; who actually utters, "I'm DESTINED FOR GREATNESS". He knows this because a fortune cookie told him so. His name is Nate and he's the star of Big Nate: In a Class By Himself and the other Big Nate books by Lincoln Peirce. He's funny and his antics are a riot. Good for him for believing he is destined for greatness - I hope he uses his power for good!

Happy Birthday Jeff!

2011-04-13T20:12:00.000-07:00

When I look at the faces of my beautiful daughters, I see their dad, my husband Jeff. They all look very much like him. Beyond their looks, each has some of his very best qualities too. Like their dad, these girls are very smart and very down to earth, each has a goofy sense of humor and they are genuinely compassionate. Jeff is an aggressive antitrust attorney so it's easy to overlook his tremendous compassion for others but Jeff helps people in need on a regular basis (he has been known to help crazy old men cross the street and he helps people up after they've fallen on the street, which seems to happen a lot). He is a good soul and he has a good soul. He also has a lower patience threshold than anyone I've ever known; that is, anyone until our daughters were born. Jeff is a great guy whom I love very, very much and I get a total kick seeing elements of him in each of our daughters.

Our kids love it when we tell them our stories - what we were like and what we were up to when we were kids. Jeff is notorious (within the confines of our nuclear family circle) for beginning stories with "When daddy was a little boy..." Parenthood has given Jeff a much needed motivator to connect with his inner child and, like at least one of our daughters, he can't seem to get through a story that begins with "When daddy was a little boy" without erupting into fits of laughter.So Happy Birthday Jeff! Kids and laughter are keeping you young and fun.

If you've been following this blog then you know that I am linking each post to a book that is a finalist for the 2011 Children's Choice Book Awards, the only national awards program for books where the finalists and winners are selected by children and teens. There is one book on the 5th-6th Grade Book of the Year list that is just too perfect for this post. In Rick Riordan's The Red Pyramid (The Kane Chronicles, Book1), we meet Sadie and Carter, 2 siblings who have lived apart for several years. They do not know each other very well, they do not know themselves very well and they learn that they never knew their parents very well either. Readers learn that they have inherited many qualities from their father and at the ages of 12 and 14, they are only just beginning to figure it all out. Sadie and Carter learn that they were descended from ancient pharaohs, that they have god-like powers and that their earthly bodies are temporarily inhabited by Egyptian gods. Turns out the apples do not fall too far from the tree; their father, Dr. Julius Kane, also has magical powers. He is an Egyptian magician who is a host of the god Osiris, god of the Afterlife, the underworld and the dead. Rick Riordan's books get devoured in my household and it's easy to see why!

As a side note and yet completely relevant to this topic, you may recall from a prior post that, last summer, my kids and Jeff all agreed that he might actually be Zeus. It turns out that Zeus had many mortal and immortal offspring. I can't help but wonder which are being hosted by my daughters. I'm thinking they are among the following:

APHRODITE The Goddess of Love was, according to some, a daughter of Zeus and the Titaness Dione (most accounts, however, say she was born in the sea from the severed genitals of Ouranos).

ATHENE The Goddess of Warcraft, Wisdom and Craft was sprung directly from the head of Zeus. Her mother was the Titaness Metis whom Zeus had swallowed whole in pregnancy.

EIRENE The Goddess of Peace, one of the three Horai, was a daughter of Zeus and the Titaness Themis.

EUNOMIA The Goddess of Good Governance, one of the three Horai, was a daughter of Zeus and the Titaness Themis.

HARMONIA The Goddess of Harmony was, according to one author, a daughter of Zeus and the Pleiad Elektra (the usual account makes her a daughter of Ares and Aphrodite who was only fostered by the Pleiad).

HEBE The Goddess of Youth was a daughter of Zeus and Hera.

PERSEPHONE The Goddess of the Underworld and Renewal of Spring was a daughter of Zeus and Demeter (or, according to one account, of Zeus and Styx).

Could be true! :)

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

2011-04-12T19:31:00.000-07:00

Some time ago, I was asked if my kids mind being the subject of my blog posts. The truth is quite the opposite. They keep tabs and object only when they feel they've been underrepresented (or, more accurately, if someone else has been overrepresented). I think I always knew that and respect them enough to keep the truly private material private so I have never had any reservations about sharing their antics in this way and have yet to be accused of misrepresenting anyone. Nobody has even been upset about disproportionate representation lately so I've been feeling pretty good about the balanced way I've handled this blog. Until today. Would you believe that today's objection came not from one of my kids but, rather, from one of my brothers?! He felt the need to call my attention to the fact that our other brother has been mentioned in 2 of the last 4 blog posts and he has not. The objection came by way of an email entitled "Unfair". OMG! I know he was only partly joking. Ahhhhh... sibling rivalry!

In fairness, let me tell you a little bit about my underrepresented brother. He's a great guy, a great father, a loyal football fan, a genius, a fabulous uncle to his nieces, the first and best hypochondriac I ever knew, and the kid who, growing up, was determined to develop many varied interests. He played hockey and rode a bike and went to camp and learned to cook beef bourguignon and had a great vocabulary, particularly when it came to describing his various ailments (he was the only 6 year old I knew that used words like "contusion", "laceration" and "hematoma"). He was a huge Beatles fan and was determined to unlock the musical magic within himself. For a short time, he had dreams of starting a band of his own. He pounded on drums for a while and then turned his focus to violin. Oy!

Today's book is selected in honor of my darling brother. Zebrafish, a 5th-6th Grade Book of the Year finalist for the 2011 Children's Choice Book Awards is the story of Vita Escolar who starts a rock band with bandmates who don't actually play instruments. Yet, they evolve as a group and grow as a community. Their individual stories are compelling. We learn that one of the bandmates has leukemia. The band, Zebrafish, holds a fundraising concert to help her hospital get the medical equipment it needs.The book happens to be partly sponsored by Generation Cures of Children's Hospital Boston, a philanthropic movement that teaches tweens to use their powers for good. Some of the proceeds from this book go to fund research for the hospital.

Smile!

2011-04-11T19:33:00.000-07:00

We talk a lot about klutziness and clumsiness in my home. Each of our daughters has her own sense of style and her own type of gracefulness. However, each one is also at least a little bit accident prone and, thankfully, good-natured about it. I think the "it could happen" factor was a powerful tool for me when I began reading Raina Telgemeier's graphic memoir Smile, a 5th-6th Grade Book of the Year finalist in the 2011 Children's Choice Book Awards.As I kept reading and rooting for the protagonist, it struck me that Raina Telgemeier is like a Judy Blume in the age of graphic novels. I love this story and I love the way it's told. Our twin daughters are in 6th grade and wear braces just like the very real protagonist, Raina. Thankfully they've (so far) been spared the dental trauma she undergoes but trauma knows no limits when you're 12; everything is traumatic. I actually don't want to give anything away regarding this book - just encourage your middle grade kids to read it. You and they won't be sorry!

Talkin' 'bout my generation

2011-04-10T19:17:00.000-07:00

Every generation has its name, its jargon and its cultural mindset, reflected in its cult classic movies, television shows and books. After the Lost Generation, the Greatest Generation and the Silent Generation (children of the Great Depression), the Baby Boomers were born beginning in 1946. They were such an enormous part of the U.S. population back then that they changed everything. The smaller generation that followed seemed to have little identity compared to the boomers, so they became known as Generation X and sometimes called the Baby Busters. They were followed by Generation Y, also known as the Millennials, Generation Next, Net Generation and Echo Boomers. The children born in the late 90's and early 2000s are Generation Z, also known as Generation I, or Internet Generation. No big surprise there!

When I was a kid, my brothers and I watched television classics like Eight is Enough, Happy Days and Star Trek. We read The Outsiders and I read everything by Judy Blume. We used words like "cool", "nerd", and "spaz" and catch phrases like "may the force be with you" from a popular movie at the time (:)). My older brother used to say "dy-no-mite" like Jimmie JJ Walker on the television show Good Times.

My own kids speak in "abbreves". No word is too short to be abbreviated. They don't quote great films all that frequently but they quote television shows like Modern Family and music lyrics by Ke$ha routinely. They can't figure out how we ever survived without cell phones, email and texting. So many great books have been written for and appreciated by kids of this generation and new books are being created for them all the time. This is, after all, the generation of Harry Potter, Twilight and The Hunger Games. But there is one book that is like an anthem for this generation and it just so happens to be a 5th-6th Grade Book of the Year finalist for the 2011 Children's Choice Book Awards. The book is Lane Smith's It's a Book. Fifth and sixth graders should not be put off by the fact that this is a picture book. It's a clever and irreverent picture book; with humor perfect for the middle grade age group and pretty well any age group. It has been called a "delightful manifesto on behalf of print in the digital age" and that it is. The characters are a mouse, a monkey and a tech-savvy jackass and it's one of those gems that you can't help but walk away quoting. Just as scores of school children know the first line of Charlotte's Web by heart and quote it with fondness, everyone who reads It's a Book will remember the last line and quote it with gusto.

Finally...

2011-04-08T05:47:00.000-07:00

I typically blog at night after I've finished a day of work and an evening of homework help. I think it's important to know yourself and I feel that I know myself reasonably well and yet the routine described above is ridiculous considering my early bird and non-night owl nature. In other words, I meant to post to this blog last night but I fell asleep. Sorry!

While, as you know, my blog posts typically combine a mommy/parenting/child issue with a book, the book I intended to highlight last night actually enables me to wrap it all up in a single package. The book, a finalist in the 3th-4th Grade Book of the Year category in this year's Children's Choice Book Awards, is Finally by Wendy Mass. The young protagonist in this book has waited her entire life to turn 12 and has amassed a laundry list of things she's been told she can have and she can do when she is finally that magical age. Here's a real life crazy juxtaposition for you - my twin daughters are 12 years old and each one has a list. Each of my 12 year old daughters, though, has a bucket list - yes, a list of things they want to do before they kick the bucket! Ridiculous, yes! Funny, yes! Par for the course with those two, absolutely! Lists are awesome - they are a great way of self-regulating and organizing our lives. The best thing about a list is that, between lead and wordprocessing, items are erasable. This past spring break, we went to the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas. Both of our 12-year-olds had included a ride on the dreaded Leap of Faith (a water slide featuring a 60 ft. almost-vertical drop from the top of the world-famous and iconic Mayan Temple, propelling riders at a tremendous speed through a clear acrylic tunnel submerged in a shark-filled lagoon) on their lists. After one of the girls bravely faced her fears and, literally, took the plunge, her sister looked at me and said, "you know, Leap of Faith is on my bucket list but I think I might take it off." Amen.

But I digress, back to Rory Swenson and Finally. The story begins with Rory stuck in a drainpipe. The funniest thing about that is that when I read a reference to her circumstances on the back cover, I groaned just a little but when I read the story of how it happened in the book, all I could think was, "Sheesh, that could so easily have been one of my kids!". Rory is a a real kid, Her thoughts, her emotions and her antics are authentic 12-year old stuff. This book is funny and surprising and would be a great choice to cuddle around with your kid, say between the ages of 9 and 12. I have to admit that I am a sucker for a book that ends with a mom's last word, wisdom or insight as this one does, with the mom (and I'm seriously not giving away anything by telling you this) channeling Gandhi and telling Rory, "There is more to life than increasing its speed". Words to live by and a book to enjoy.

King of the castle

2011-04-06T19:46:00.000-07:00

When our oldest daughter learned about Greek mythology at school, she would come home and describe the qualities of the different gods to her sisters, who ate it all up. One day, after describing Hades, lord of the dead and ruler of the underworld, she seemed to go into a trance and then delighted everyone by reviving in the form of "Queen Hadestia" (the female version of Hades). In her Hadestia character, she would make her sisters lives a living hell and they couldn’t get enough. Then Percy Jackson entered our home. This genius series created by Rick Riordan captivated our kids. Gods and demi-gods took over their lives for a little while.This past summer, one of our daughters became convinced that Jeff (my husband, her dad) was actually Zeus in mortal's clothing. It didn't take much for her to convince her sisters that this was possible. Jeff loved it and found it frighteningly easy to slip into character. He began to sign his letters to our kids who were away at sleepaway camp, "Zeus". They, in turn, would ask about life on Olympus. The child who came up with this fantasy in the first place insisted it could be true. I finally had to admit that he is king of our castle so who can say for sure that he doesn't rule Olympus in his spare time?

I loved learning mythology when I was younger - the Greek gods, the Roman gods, the Egyptian gods - the stories were fascinating and entertaining. I still feel that way. If you do too, then I invite you to share an amazing experience with your child of any age (I tested this on my own 12 and 15 year olds). Open up Robert Sabuda and Matthew Reinhart's Encyclopedia Mythologica: Gods & Heroes and you'll know what I mean as the soon as the giant pharaoh unfolds and pops out of the pages. This pop up book is not for little kids. It includes a wealth of information about gods and mythology from around the globe together with the most breathtaking and intricate pop-ups imaginable. When my kids turned the page and I knew the castle in the sky atop Olympus was coming, I told them to brace themselves and then thoroughly enjoyed hearing them ooh and aah in unison. Such a great book on such a favorite topic - in a volume that is meant for a shared experience. It's no wonder that the kids (15,000 from across the country) who determined the finalists for the Children's Choice Book Awards chose this one! One entry tells the story of the Polynesian volcano goddess Pele and she seems to come alive as she literally pops out of the book.

Let's make a deal

2011-04-05T20:24:00.000-07:00

I overheard two of my daughters negotiating earlier this evening. One wanted the other to start helping her out with something after school every day and they were working on a price. They considered whether caring for the dog was a suitable price. WHAT?! They adore our dog but take care of him? Not so much. The one responsibility we have divided among the girls is to make his dinner every night. One daughter was now offering to take over dinner duty once a week for her sister. In the end they decided it wasn't a sufficient price and I think they settled on weekly massages or something like that. But the poor dog! When we first got him, we thought it would be a great opportunity to teach the kids some responsibility. While I still believe getting our beloved Levy was one of the soundest and most wonderful decisions we ever made, I have to admit that things never really panned out on the responsibility end of things. It's no secret who does the most for the dog and I'm surprisingly OK with that. I like to think that, in return, he loves me best but the truth is that he loves us all and I wouldn't change that even if I could. I still think pets are a great opportunity to teach kids responsibility and fully support any parents who see that plan through.

Though I have become a dog person, I have a brother who is a cat person and that's good enough for a segue to today's book pick, Nick Bruel's Bad Kitty vs. Uncle Murray. The Bad Kitty books sprinkle scientific/fun facts, generally about cats, throughout the stories. The facts in this one consider cats' stranger anxiety. Uncle Murray comes to take care of Bad Kitty and Puppy while their owners go away. Uncle Murray and Bad Kitty ("goofy cat") do not click. My favorite part is The Kitty Diaries - diary entries from Bad Kitty after the pets run into a closet to hide from the "monster". We learn that they're in there for 20 minutes but to Bad Kitty it seems like several weeks of torture. When the pets' owners return, Uncle Murray seems to have had a breakdown and mumbles about what nice pets fish make.

There is a fabulous site with book reviews called Sweet on Books that provides a terrific review of this book and even includes discussion questions to engage young readers beyond the book. This site has my favorite description of the Bad Kitty character: "Kitty is part drama queen and part neurotic prone to fits of delusions that are sidesplittingly funny". So true! If your child loves this book, remember to vote at BookWeekOnline.com.

Baby you can drive my car...

2011-04-04T19:41:00.000-07:00

Several years ago, our twin daughters were invited to a biking party in Central Park. They were around 8 years old the first year they were invited to this child's party and were really into their Razor scooters at the time. Since they didn't know how to ride two wheelers, they opted to join in the fun on scooters instead. More power to them! Actually, they really could have used more power. They had to work twice as hard as the kids on bikes and still couldn't keep up.

Jeff and I were a little embarrassed that none of our kids (they were 9, 9 and 11 at the time) knew how to ride a two-wheeler. Neither one of us could remember a time when we didn't know how to ride a two-wheeler. Riding around the neighborhood with friends was a big part of our childhood. Life was different for our Manhattanite children. Without a quiet cul-de-sac or a deserted mall parking lot to practice, we just never found the opportunity to teach them to ride. As a result, they never felt the wind in their hair or the rush as they sped down a hill or the thrill when you lift both hands off the bar. When the same child invited them to another party in Central Park a year later, though, they were determined to learn how to ride bicycles. So a week before the Central Park birthday party, we rented bikes, brought them to a park near our home and taught each of the three girls to ride. They learned remarkably quickly and we started to dream about family bicycle trips. We hastily returned to the bike shop and bought bikes for each of the kids on the spot. The following week, our girls dazzled their friends as they rode laps around Central Park on their new sparkling two-wheelers. Shortly after that, we rode through the park together on a weekend. And that was it. Since the brief time that we were enchanted by our romanticized vision of bicycle rides, the bikes have laid dormant in the storage area of our apartment building. I can't say for sure that any of us will ever ride a bike again. Curiously, though, I'm glad everyone knows how. Certain skills are imperative and the fact that you live in Manhattan should not be a reason to miss out on anything!

Now that we have a 15-year old, the "set of wheels" discussion has taken on a whole new meaning. I remember one of my first "born and bred" New York friends telling me several years ago that he had never learned to drive a car. I remember thinking that was crazy and yet, now that I have a child on the verge, I sometimes find myself wondering if it really is necessary. After all, if she really needs to get anywhere, we have a perfectly good bicycle with her name on it downstairs in the storage locker! To that 15-year old, I say, "Just kidding sweetie". She knows her time will come. And we all know that there's something to be said for putting your pedal to the metal!

Few children's book characters capture the energy and thrill as you transition from bicycle to car (albeit soap box derby car) like the inimitable Babymouse. BabyMouse Burns Rubber, book number 12 in the series created by the sensational sister-brother duo of Jennifer L. Holm and Matthew Holm, is a finalist for the 3rd to 4th Grade Book of the Year in this year's Children's Choice Book Awards. This is the second Babymouse book to make it in as a finalist in the four years of this program. It's hard not to love Babymouse! In this installment, Babymouse, encouraged by her friend Wilson, decides to realize her dreams of becoming a race car driver. She is self-absorbed, high maintenance and easily distracted but she has a strong moral compass and, ultimately, is the best kind of friend. Long love Babymouse!

And we're backkkkkkk...

2011-04-03T19:32:00.000-07:00

The spring break that has delighted my children to no end over the last two weeks draws to its inevitable close this evening. The nagging (my nagging) to get backpacks in order and select clothing for tomorrow is already well underway. At least for tonight, though, it's only quasi-nagging. There is no yelling, just calm and smiles, as the kids bask in the glow of time away and time spent with family - a vacation well spent and thoroughly enjoyed. While Jeff and I did not take two full weeks off, we did go away for a few days all together and enjoyed every minute of it. To those of you whose kids are young enough that that you feel like you need a vacation after every vacation, rest assured that there's a light at the end of that tunnel. When our family takes a beach vacation these days, it's fun and relaxing for each of us.

There is also a subtle joyous undertone this time of year because this is the last big vacation break during the school year and, around here, that means camp will be here before you know it! To get fully and appropriately in the camp spirit, our oldest daughter has a group of camp friends coming over for a reunion next weekend. When the girls were younger, I remember wondering when they would begin to form the deep, enduring friendships that you form at summer camp. I think the turning point for each of our kids was around 11 years old. Some time around then, camp friends started to communicate year round and the bonds began to take hold and strengthen. It's heart-warming to see your kids develop those friendships and exciting to see their self confidence and self assurance develop together with those bonds.

So, I have to admit, the summer camp theme of today's post came to me only partly because of the upcoming sleepover and the constant camp countdown around my home. I'm also focusing on summer camp as part of my pledge to tie each of the next posts to a finalist for this year's Children's Choice Book Awards. If you don't know what I'm talking about, shame on you, but, seriously, click here! Before taking on this evening's selected finalist, I have to share some exciting news about this program. Voting for the 2011 Children's Choice Book Awards has been open 3 weeks so far (it will close on April 29) and we have already received more than 230,000 votes - more votes in just 3 weeks than any other full 6 week total since the program began. If your child hasn't yet voted in the only national book awards program where the winners are selected by children and teens -WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! Take a look at the finalists, read with your child and then send him or her or them here to vote!

So, it turns out that the summer camp theme is the perfect way to introduce both a finalist in the 3rd-4th grade Book of the Year category, Lunch Lady and the Summer Camp Shakedown, as well as the awesome host of this year's live presentation of the Children's Choice Book Awards at a gala event on May 2 in New York City. The author and illustrator of the Lunch Lady books and the host of this year's children's book equivalent of the Academy Awards is the beloved and wonderful Jarrett J. Krosoczka. It turns out that Jarrett is not only the immensely talented creative and comedic genius behind the Lunch Lady series and several more books, but he also deserves a spot in the Hall of Fame of Nicest and Most Generous and All Around Top People in the world of children's books. He is one of the organizers of the River's Family Music Meltdown and Book Bash, the third annual of which was celebrated at the end of March. Jarrett has been taking to the blogosphere, twitter universe and airwaves and promoting the Children's Choice Book Awards program and all of the finalists tirelessly. Now it's time to give him a plug in his capacity as finalist.

If you haven't met the Lunch Lady and you have a child anywhere from Kindergarten through 5th grade, then make it a point to meet her. She investigates and fights crime with a delicious assortment of gadgets, serving up justice along with lunch. In this installment, she has a cookie camera, taco-vision night goggles, an underwater bendy-straw breathing apparatus and a spork phone. This book is the 4th in the series and its focus is on the legendary summer camp swamp monster - the very same monster that stars in spooky stories told late at night around the campfire at every summer camp that ever existed. The Lunch Lady books tell great stories in classic comic book format that kids can't help but love because they're action-packed and hilarious and they have the added bonus of taking parents back to the days of Scooby Doo cartoons and Archie comics. When the Lunch Lady says, "We're Salisbury-staking out the pond!" to her trusty sidekick Betty, I thought back to the days when my brothers and I begged our parents to let us eat TV dinners (we particularly loved Swanson's Salisbury steak - which may well not even be real steak but we loved it and couldn't have cared less). The icing on the cake here is that, aside from the butt-kicking protagonist and a few kooky spoofs, this book offers a somewhat authentic glimpse into summer camp and is a great choice for kids who are considering going to summer camp for the first time.

On Vacation!

2011-03-22T19:24:00.000-07:00

Hi folks! I'll be on vacation until early next week and invite you, in the meantime, to scroll back through some of my older posts or maybe visit BookWeekOnline.com and start planning for the 92nd celebration of Children's Book Week. You and your child may even want to start making your way through the Children's Choice Book Awards finalists together. Happy reading and don't forget to vote here!

Read to Vote!

2011-03-21T18:13:00.000-07:00

Voting for the 2011 Children's Choice Book Awards opened one week ago. There are times that this 4 year old program feels brand new and times when it feels as though it's been around forever. It is the only national awards program for books where the finalists and the winners are selected by children and teens. My CBC team and I created this program and launched it in 2008. That year we received 55,000 votes. Fast forward to Year 4, in which more votes than that were submitted in this first week alone. And why not? It's a great program and it's starting to catch on in a big way. It's very exciting!

My hope is that teachers, librarians and booksellers will incorporate this program into their schedules. After engaging in story time with the young 'uns or books clubs with the older set, I hope they'll encourage kids and teens to vote as they are encouraged to do at BookWeekOnline.com where the voting takes place. Teachers, librarians and booksellers can submit bulk votes for their group at the site as well. I caution anyone reading this blog post that when a person submits millions of votes, they are not helping their favorites. Rather, they are depriving their favorites of the single vote that this same person should have submitted. We review the votes regularly and delete votes that are so excessive as to compromise the integrity of the program. We know that no school has 21 billion students so when we see a vote of 21 billion for a finalist, it is deleted immediately.As much as it is time-consuming and frustrating to have to police in this way, it is also gratifying to know that people are this passionate about books and the people who create them.

Since voting began, I have recommended only finalists in this blog and will continue to do so until I cover all 30 books. Today it's time to round out the Kindergarten to Second Grade Book of the Year Category with Matthew McElligott's Even Monsters Need Haircuts. This category would not be complete without at least one book about monsters. It's easy to see why kids would love this one. Once a month, the barber's son meets monsters at the barber shop at midnight and cuts their hair. I love the illustration where the little boy is braiding Medusa's snakes, with his eyes averted, and I've always been a sucker for Frankenstein.

Voting will remain open through April 29, 2011. Encourage your children's school to get involved and give their students an opportunity to vote for their favorites! Vote at the Children's Book Week website. Winners will be announced during Children's Book Week, May 2-8, 2011.

My favorite field trip of the year

2011-03-17T19:13:00.000-07:00

Every March I make a day trip to Washington, DC, to the Library of Congress for a Reading Promotion Partners Idea Exchange. This invitation-only event is organized by the Center for the Book in the Library of Congress, the arm of the library that is committed to programs that promote reading. The Center for the Book has been one of my favorite partners since I entered the literacy world. We've worked together on several initiatives that I truly believe have moved the needle when it comes to promoting the joy of reading and connecting kids with books. I love this March meeting. It is profoundly inspiring to go around the table and hear people representing 80 or so different organizations talk about the good work they're doing. People exchange ideas, partnerships and plans to collaborate develop on the spot and we all get a little smarter about the literacy-related work and services that are happening and available and the vast amount of work that remains to be done. I feel very fortunate to be part of the conversation.

Almost as if she knew that I had committed to highlighting the Children's Choice Book Awards finalists in my blog, one of the partners today shared her favorite book of the year; the book that she recommends to families who are reading together and parents who are reading aloud to their children. It's How Rocket Learned to Read by Tad Hills, which I happen to agree is a wonderful book and so do the thousands of kids who selected the finalists for the Children's Choice Book Awards. It's a finalist in the Kindergarten-2nd Grade Book of the Year category. The little yellow bird you see on the cover teaches Rocket to read and it's hard to resist cheering for Rocket when he gets the job done. It's easy to imagine kindergartners sounding out the words along with Rocket and delighting in their own accomplishments.

Don't forget to encourage the child in your life to vote here for their favorite books of the year in the Children's Choice Book Awards.

Happy Birthday Lev!

2011-03-16T18:38:00.000-07:00

Our dog Lev turned 2 years old today. We celebrated by giving him a soccer ball, a big iced cookie and lots of hugs and kisses. He was so happy. We are all ridiculously in love with this dog. Funny story how we ended up with a dog. I, for one, was never really much of a dog person. Our kids, like most kids, asked for a dog fairly regularly but seemed to know it was never going to happen. We all seemed pretty comfortable as a small pet family. Our pet for several years was a little hamster named Peanut that one of our daughters won in a raffle at camp (one of those raffles we permitted her to enter because we never win anything so we didn't feel like we were even taking a chance. Ha!). Anyhow, Peanut died some time ago and we agreed that when the girls felt they had mourned sufficiently, we would get a new small pet. They finally came to us one day and announced that they were ready. Then the twist. They wanted a chinchilla or a ferret. It never occurred to me to suggest a hamster. Instead, I knew I didn't want a ferret so we decided to get a chinchilla. The chinchilla, named Otis, turned out to be high maintenance in the extreme. Did you know chinchillas need to be taken out of their cages and given a dust bath (yes, a bath in dust) every day?! Did you know they live more than 20 years?! Oy!! After a few days of cleaning up after the little beast, I announced that if I was going to work this hard, we may as well have a pet that could reciprocate; it was time to get a dog. I don't know what came over me. I only know that I never looked back. The overgrown rat had opened my mind and my heart. The word "Lev" means heart in Hebrew and if Otis opened my heart, Lev certainly pulled at my heart strings. Happy birthday little man. We love you!

In honor of Peanut, the first real pet we had, tonight's book recommendation, another Kindergarten-2nd Grade Book of the Year finalist, is Hot Rod Hamster by Cynthia Lord and Derek Anderson. It's a book that was made to be read out loud. You can't help but cheer the hamster on! Reading it sparked a memory of my kids on vacation building their own race cars and I couldn't stop smiling. Hot Rod Hamster is ready to ROLL and you'll be rolling along with him!

Boys will be boys

2011-03-15T19:23:00.000-07:00

When our daughters were babies, Jeff and I were determined to avoid all gender stereotypes. In other words, we dressed them in pink but also in a lot of blue and we bought them dolls but toy cars too. Jeff read box scores to the girls from the time they were born and took them to Knicks games when they were toddlers. We wanted to raise girls who knew they could be anyone they wanted to be without feeling restricted by any preconceptions. Can you imagine how hard we laughed when we gave a set of trains to one of our children and she immediately identified the mommy train and the baby train and then proceeded to play house with them?! Kids are funny and there must truly be some amount of hot-wiring that goes on behind the scenes. Many of our friends reported similar stories and lines always seemed to be drawn clearly between boys and girls in certain respects.

While my parenting experience has been limited to raising daughters, I grew up with 2 brothers and remember (often subconsciously shaking my head in amazement) how physical and competitive they could be. When I first took a look at Chris Barton and Tom Lichtenheld's Shark vs. Train, it brought me back. Now whenever I look at the cover, I could swear I see my brothers' faces planted on the shark and train images. It cracks me up every time. Shark and Train engage in one competition after another throughout the book. When the competition is in water, Shark is the clear winner but Train has him beat when he piles his cars on top of each other to stand straight and tall when they play basketball. Neither one is very good at sword fighting on a tightrope but., of course, no one wants wants to say uncle first. This book is an authentic depiction of little boys and a happy burst of energetic and satisfying entertainment for girls and boys alike. It also happens to be a contender for the 2011 K-2nd Grade Book of the Year. Remind your child that if he or she falls in love with this book the way many children will, they should take a little trip to BookWeekOnline.com and vote!

The miracle of family

2011-03-14T19:39:00.000-07:00

Twelve and a half years ago, my twin daughters were born. They were born two months premature and had several serious health and developmental issues for their first several years of life. Their stubborn determination and will to succeed were evident from the very start, though, and over time we have witnessed them take on each obstacle in their path and forge ahead. They have amazed us over and over again - exceeding all expectations and constantly finding new ways to make us proud. This past weekend, they outdid themselves. They were called to read from the Torah as b'not mitzvah (the female plural of bat mitzvah).They were brilliant and beautiful. Over the course of a weekend full of events, they made several speeches, they sang, they danced, they ate and they were spectacular. The warmth and deep connections they feel toward each other and to family and friends was palpable every step of the way. The way they connect with other people is one of things I love most about them both. There was so much love in each room, at each event (Friday night dinner, Saturday morning synagogue service, Saturday night party and Sunday brunch). I have never been more proud to be their mom. I have never been more aware and grateful of the fact that miracles happen.

As my family's joyous celebration comes to a close, life at work is picking up speed. Voting for the Children's Choice Book Awards opened today at BookWeekOnline.com. This awards program is the only national book awards program where the finalists and winners are selected by children and teens. My team and I created this program four years ago. The excitement begins to build as we get ready to open voting and then explodes when voting opens. Voting will continue through April 29. The winners will be announced at a gala evening on May 2, during Children's Book Week, May 2-8. The host of this year's gala is the amazing Jarrett J. Krosoczka, the creator of the Lunch Lady books and Punk Farm. Jarrett's Lunch Lady 4 is also a finalist in the 3rd-4th Grade Book of the year category. Jarrett has been reaching out far and wide to spread the word. We couldn't have asked for a better host. The goal this year is 500,000 votes so grab the kid in your life, experience books together and encourage them to vote (click here to get to the voting site).

In honor of the Children's Choice Book Awards, every blog post going forward will end by referring you to a different finalist until I've covered them all. There are 30 all together and it should be interesting to try and link the book themes to the mommy topics I focus on in the first part of each post. Inspired by my daughters, I'm up for the challenge. Inspired by their dedication to family and the fact that they asked their friends to donate in their honor to the Animal Cancer Foundation in lieu of buying them bat mitzvah gifts, the very first finalist covered on this blog is Little Pink Pup by Johanna Kerby. A piglet named Pink is adopted by a dachshund named Tink as one of her pups. True story! At the risk of incurring the wrath of my oldest daughter who has forbidden me from using the following expression - OMG! This book is sheer delight. The story and photographs are compelling and both you and your child will want to read it over and over again. It's a finalist for K-2nd Grade Book of the Year. You can read the book online by clicking here. And remember to encourage every child you know to vote at BookWeekOnline.com.

2011-03-08T19:10:00.000-08:00

Like many kids, mine sometimes get caught up playing the insult game. They hurl insults at one another or call each other ridiculous names and burst out laughing. Of course, there are also times when someone forgets it's a game and, eventually, the tears flow. I don't particularly care for this game. However, every once in a while the kids draw on the new vocab words they learn at school or make up completely new words, pretend they're insults and hurl away. I like that game much better. In fact I like that game so much that I'd like to try and further it. Consider the following 10 rare and amusing insults:1. Cockalorum: a boastful and self-important person; a strutting little fellow; 2. Lickspittle: a fawning subordinate; a suck-up; 3. Smellfungus: an excessively faultfinding person; 4. Snollygoster: an unprincipled but shrewd person; 5. Ninnyhammer: ninny; simpleton, fool; 6. Mumpsimus: a stubborn person who insists on making an error in spite of being shown that it is wrong; 7. Milksop: an unmanly man; a mollycoddle (a pampered or effeminate boy or man); 8. Hobbledehoy: an awkward, gawky young man; 9. Pettifogger: shyster; a lawyer whose methods are underhanded or disreputable; 10. Mooncalf: a foolish or absentminded person.

Good books with good insults in the title are easy to find. Here are some worth considering. How about Jerry Spinelli's Loser for middle graders? Or Ursula Vernon's Dragonbreath? Middle grade and young teen readers will also enjoy Meg Cabot's Airhead.

Ugh...homework

2011-03-07T20:23:00.000-08:00

One of our daughters approached me this evening and asked me to help her make flashcards as part of a study blitz that would assure her an A on a test later this week. This child almost never asks for help with homework. She's a motivated and self-directed student and the only role the rest of us tend to play when she's doing her homework is annoy her. Just by breathing. When she approached me tonight, she began with, "Mama, are you very busy?" and before I could answer, followed it with, "Because if you're not, do you think you could help me make flashcards?" I think we both knew that anything I was doing would be promptly put aside because my child needed my help! I remember a time when I couldn't wait to be done with homework of my own and here I am now, a mom who can't wait to jump in with homework help! Of course, it's not about the homework at all. It has a lot more to do with the fact that parents want to help their kids when they can. And when kids enter the terrifying tween and teen stages mine have entered, there's something to be said, from the mom's perspective, for having them turn to you and let you know they need you. Even if it's for something that's not particularly substantive. Even if it's for flashcards. In addition to feeling needed, I may just get a little goodwill out of this for a day or two and I could always use a little goodwill when it comes to parenting a teenager!

A fun middle grade selection tied to this theme is Dan Gutman's The Homework Machine and the sequel, Return of the Homework Machine. Hmmmmm... a machine that does your homework for you automatically...As much as I enjoyed being called on for help this evening, there are far more nights when my help is not requested but imposed on one child or another and it's never a pretty sight.

Take me seriously!

2011-03-06T20:24:00.000-08:00

One of our daughters was very upset this evening and complained that no one ever takes her seriously. While that generalization is untrue, I have to confess that my husband Jeff and I have certainly broken a cardinal rule of parenting on more than one occasion - the one dictating that you should never laugh in the face of your child's turmoil (at least not in front of your child's face). On the one hand, it's easy and important to remember that whatever your child is going through is monumental and maybe even earth-shattering to them at the moment. Empathy and sympathy are key. On the other hand, what's wrong with a little perspective? My kids hate to be called self-centered but being self-centered (to an extent) is one of the perks of childhood. As kids get older, self-centeredness is not tolerated so you have to guide them out of it at some point. Maybe laughing at their perceived disaster or pain isn't the best way and I realize this will come across as cruel and uncaring (which couldn't be further from the truth), but sometimes you just have to laugh. In our family's experience, laughter, due to its contagious nature, will spread to all parties and humor really is the cure close to 75% of the time. The rest of the time, as you would expect, laughter just makes things worse. In those cases, we start by apologizing for the laughter and then dig a little to find the real cause of concern, which, after digging, almost always turns out to be something quite different from the predicament expressed at the outset that made us laugh in the first place. Never a dull moment!

Parents struggle to find the appropriate reaction to childhood calamity. It's not easy to walk a finely balanced line. I think it's okay to fall over to one side or another (between validating the plight and infusing perspective) every now and then as long as we are always listening seriously and actively. I, for one, want my children to know that they can overcome challenges now and in the future. I want them to feel successful at dealing with childhood disappointment so they feel equipped to handle the challenges of adulthood.

Some of the best books ever written are books where the author takes the reader through a real life catastrophe and both emerge stronger and braver and a little more satisfied at the other end. If you've been following this blog for a while then you know that I enjoy pairing up adult and children's books. Today's book recommendations are of that nature though the connection is not readily apparent. At the children's end comes the strongest plea that you encourage your kids (middle school and teen) to read Raina Telgemeier's Smile. At the adult end is Laura Hillenbrand's Unbroken. It is conceivable that two more different books could not be paired together but, at the same time, each book features a protagonist who endures unimaginable hardship given their state in life and state of mind. Each is a story of unimaginable horror, resilience and survival.

Who do you think you are?

2011-03-03T19:45:00.000-08:00

Before getting this post underway, I would like to extend my most sincere apologies to Evelyn and Liat, two loyal followers of this blog and, more importantly, two very good friends, who check up on me to make sure everything's OK if I miss a post. It's an awfully nice side effect of blogging! You may have noticed that last night I did not post to my blog. My day had been busy and I wasn't feeling great and, as a result, I fell asleep early and slept through the hours when I normally attend to my blog. Before falling asleep, though, I had the most interesting conversation with my almost 15 year old daughter.

One prerequisite to being a teenager seems to be some degree of certainty that you are misunderstood and nobody knows the real you. With that as the implicit starting point, our teenager asked me to tell her who I think she is; to describe her in some way other than in a "you're so smart - you're so beautiful-you're such a fabulous package" typical mommy way; with a little more depth. What could I say? She really is very smart and she really is strikingly beautiful. Taking my cue, I shared what I thought were her strengths and I shared what I perceived as her insecurities. When I was done, she challenged me on a few of my perceptions but I think she was generally pleased that I got so much right. Then I told her it was her turn to describe me. I realized that, like my teenager, I didn't really expect her, or anybody for that matter, to truly see me as I see myself, the way I believe I genuinely am. She did amazingly well. I'm not sure if she's exceptionally perceptive or I'm more transparent than I thought or it's some combination of the two or maybe, just maybe, we know each other that well. What I do know for sure is that the young woman I described and the one who described me is the one I'll be thinking of lovingly next time she pulls that teenage werewolf trick and transforms into a person I don't recognize. I'm also fairly certain that feeling as though people do not know the real you is not unique to us. For some reason, it's important to many of us to believe that we are a little misunderstood or, perhaps, mysterious. And it's important to know that there's someone out there who really gets us. We are all complex creatures, though, and it can take a while to peel away enough layers to get to someone's core.

Literature is full of characters who are not what or whom they first seem. One of my favorite children's books growing up was Frances Hodgson Burnett's The Secret Garden, where we first encounter a most disagreeable Mary Lennox whose own complexity and layers are revealed as the story unfolds. More recently, I thoroughly enjoyed Judy Blundell's new novel Strings Attached, where we meet Kit Corrigan who proves to be far more complex and ultimately braver than anyone would have expected of a 16-year old dancer. As a fan of Suzanne Collin's The Hunger Games trilogy, I also enjoyed peeling away the layers of a secondary character, Katniss Everdeen's beloved sister Prim who came into her own in the third book, Mockinjay.

Perhaps we think people can't see us clearly because we recognize that we are ever-evolving. The person I am today is a little different from the person I used to be and likely a little different from the person I have yet to become.